It's Mutual
by vanchi1211
Summary: Inspired by existential1rony's FF: A little Upsteady. Read it first! Based on the whole Upzek fiasco. Jay caught Hailey and Adam together, and no, they would not always be good.
1. Chapter 1

_This is an AU inspired by existential1rony's FF: A little Upsteady. If you haven't read it, go check it out! Basically Jay got upset and angry at Hailey after finding out she had been sleeping with Adam. _

* * *

Hailey closed her car door in frustration. She didn't mean to slam it, but she did close it harder than intended. She wondered for how long she could keep doing this. Today marked a month of no talking with her partner. Ever since he showed up at her house unannounced and saw Adam coming out of her bedroom, his attitude towards her turned for the worse. He stopped talking, even acknowledging she was in the room. If working together in the precinct was bad, doing stakeout together was horrible. However long the stakeout is, they don't talk. Jay brought his own meal and went deaf when she suggested buying some food.

She tried to apologise to Jay; NOT that she had anything to apologise for; Adam and she were both single. And Jay had nothing to do with whom she slept with. Despite their _thing_, they were just partners. They never talked about the attraction, the tension between them. Hailey was guilty at first that Jay had to find out by witnessing it instead of her telling him. However, the guilt was replaced by anger pretty quickly when Jay started to act like she wasn't there. After two weeks, she just hoped that Jay would let it pass. She didn't need an apology or explanation, she just needed her partner back. The partner that used to be there for her, tease her when they were on stakeout together, and watched her back like an eagle. Jay started behaving normally towards Adam after two weeks, so she expected him to do so towards her. To her dismay, he didn't.

Once, she tried to corner him in the locker room, apologising and asking for his explanation. He looked at her coldly, then slammed his locker door. She didn't dare to move closer. Before the incident, she would swear that he would never lay a hand towards her, but then, she weren't sure anymore. She pleaded for him to tell her how to go back being civil partners, being friends, but his response astounded her. "Were we friends? I didn't see that," he said coldly, then stormed out. In doing so, he accidentally kicked a bench. The bench toppled over and fell on her feet, eliciting a gasp from her. She was facing against the door, so she didn't see him paling and looking at her guiltily. He wanted nothing more than to beat himself, that he hurt her physically, something he promised to his mum to never do. He nearly crumbled when he heard her crying, but he couldn't go back inside. He couldn't face her. For his own sake… no, for _their_ sake. They both fell for their partners, and look where it got them? His partner broke his heart, and her partner got killed. He would not let them make the same mistake, even if it cost them their friendship.

The turning point for Hailey was when they were both clearing an apartment when picking up a suspect. He cleared the bathroom, but didn't clear the closet. She was on the other end of the apartment, and she walked towards the door. The suspect suddenly charged at her from the closet and slammed her against a wall with a tie on his hands, intending to choke her. She managed to disarm him without Jay's help, and while cuffing him, she felt Jay looking at her with no effort to help. As she walked the suspect past him, she hissed, "if you want me dead, just say it." She knew it was a low blow, but she couldn't help it. She was furious. That was the moment she no longer had a partner. As far as she was concerned, she was on her own in the field. There was no one to look out for her back.

Meanwhile, after the incident, Jay stayed up the whole night and finished a six-pack by himself. He nearly cost his partner her life. He froze because he didn't expect that, and he was caught off-guard by his fatal error. He wasn't thinking right, so when the suspect flew past him and pinned Hailey to the wall, he didn't react on reflex. When Hailey looked at him with anger on her face, and accused Jay of wanting her dead, he knew he was in trouble. He could be suspended if Hailey reported the incident. So when two days passed without any reprimand from Voight, Jay was perplexed about what she wanted. He wouldn't blame her if she wanted to change partner. If Hailey was the one behaving the way he did, he would change partner. Of course, she wouldn't do so. She is one of the kindest people he knew, one of the best cops he had ever worked with.

Hailey went to Voight's office early. The Sergeant always went in early, before the rest of them. She pulled herself together and knocked on the door.

"Sarge, got a minute?" Voight pointed at a chair. Hailey gave Voight a piece of paper. Something she didn't think she would give Voight less than two years after he offered her a place at his team.

"Narcotics?" asked Voight.

"Narcs needs an undercover cop, according to my source," said Hailey. After what happened with Garrett, undercover isn't her first choice, but then again, neither is working with a partner who doesn't treat her as she belongs.

"This has something to do with Halstead," deducted Voight. How the partners treated each other lately hadn't escaped his observation.

"I just feel it's the time," Hailey didn't budge. As upset as she was, she didn't want to sabotage Jay's career. She knew he had a bright career ahead in Intelligence and she didn't want to jam him up.

"Bullshit," Voight spat. "You have good career ahead here, Upton. You know that."

"I do. It's just… I don't feel it's the right place for me."

"Alright. Under two conditions. You take two mandatory days off," said Voight.

"And?"

"And you tell your partner. Directly. After last time, he needed to hear it from you," said Voight. Hailey had no choice but to nod.

"Alright," said Hailey.

"Glad to have you under my wings, Hailey," said Voight.

"I'm honoured to be here, Sarge," Hailey couldn't stop her tears from brimming. She was sad, no, heartbroken to leave the unit.

* * *

After the talk with Voight, Hailey took the day off, starting her mandatory leave early. No one had seen her when she slipped out of the district. Jay was partnered with Antonio for that day, and if he wondered why Hailey wasn't in, he didn't show it. He wondered where Hailey was, and after work he went passed Hailey's house, looking for her car. Her car was in her usual parking spot, so for a while he was worried about her. What if she was sick and had no one to care for her? What if something happened to her and no one went looking for her because, according to her, she had no personal life? Does she have anyone who cared for her? He would not forgive himself if something happened to her and no one was there. His feelings for her are too complicated; he cared for her deeply. Initially, he was angry towards her because she didn't trust him to tell him about Adam. Yet the more he thought about it, the more he realised that it wasn't the primary reason. He was hurt because it wasn't him. He wanted nothing more to be the one to wake up in her bedroom. To hear her stories at the end of the day, even though he experienced most of her day. To be the reason she laughs, to comfort her when she is upset. Unknowingly, he had been circling her place for some times. He huffed and parked a block down from her door, where he was sure she couldn't see his car.

He laughed wryly when he realised he was about to do the most pathetic thing he had ever done. He pulled out his phone and ordered a pizza, giving her address. He gave her order of pizza and waited until the delivery guy arrived. When Hailey opened the door, he exhaled in relief. She looked fine. Confused as to who ordered the pizza, but she paid for it anyway and closed her door.

* * *

"I'm riding with Antonio again?" asked Jay the next day.

"You're riding with whoever you can appreciate," grunted Voight. Jay was taken aback. Had Hailey gone to Voight about their situation? Jay went on a stakeout with Antonio. They were friends; he pulled strings for him getting into Intelligence; so it was an easy day.

"You and Upton are having disagreement?" asked Antonio.

"What?"

"I noticed. Everyone noticed. Be careful, you two. Your attitudes are gonna make someone killed," said Antonio. Jay froze, remembering the apartment incident.

"Jay, I'm gonna give you a piece of advice. It comes from a once married man and works best in a marriage, but hell, partnership is like a marriage. You screw up, you are dead. There's three magic words to solve the problem."

"What's that?" asked Jay.

"I-am-sorry," Antonio grinned, exclaiming each word with a finger, but quickly got serious again. "Suck it up. We're men, we say sorry for everything."

* * *

Jay went to Hailey's place again, only to realise her car wasn't parked in front. She wasn't there. He had come to apologise. He had no idea what would he say, or how he would explain his behaviour. He only wanted to offer the magic words, and let it go from there. He was disappointed to realise she wasn't home. After circling the block for half an hour, he went back to his apartment, carrying a six pack of beer. He was so lost in thought that he didn't realise Hailey standing in front of his door, looking nervous. Before he could open his mouth, Hailey cut him.

"Sorry, this won't take long. I came to say goodbye," she offered a faint smile. "I'm transferring to Narcotics, effective immediately."

He didn't say anything, just gaped. Out of the things he expected her to say; out of all the nasty things he wanted her to call him; this is the least expected thing. He ignored her to not lose her, but the fact is he had lost her.

Hailey mistook his silence as ignoring him again, so she cleared her throat and continued, "I just want to thank you for watching my back this past year, and sorry for how things ended. I think I'm going deep undercover for a while, so this is the last you will hear of me, don't worry." She looked down to try hiding the tears brimming in her eyes, and walked past Jay.

"Wait!" Jay grabbed her hand. Hailey flinched and pulled her hand immediately. For a split second, their eyes met, and Jay found fear in her eyes. His wall immediately crumbled. He would understood if she has frustration, anger, even hate in her eyes. But he never imagined someone would look at him with fear, moreover his partner, someone he was supposed to protect. He couldn't hate himself more at that moment.

"Can we talk?" asked Jay. Hailey hesitated. She didn't want to be there anymore. She had enough of apologising and being hurt.

"I'd rather not."

"Please, I'm not gonna hurt you," said Jay before he stopped himself and thought, _well Halstead, what have you been doing this past month? _

Hailey's hesitation cannot be more visible. At last, she nodded. Jay opened his door and motioned for her to get in. She walked tentatively passed the threshold and stood awkwardly near the door. It was as if she doesn't believed she would get out of there safely, Jay thought with disgust of himself. How far had he screwed up?

"Are you going to talk or not?" asked Hailey curtly. Jay just realised he had stared into space for a while. He took a deep breath.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. Hailey looked at him, not acknowledging his words. Jay cringed internally; that was how he treated her for a month. She gave him silent treatment for a mere seconds and he felt bad already.

"I'm sorry for how I treated you. That was very wrong of me. I hurt you over and over again. I let my emotions got the best of me, I nearly got you killed. I don't know how you can ever forgive me. Hell, I don't know how I can forgive myself for how I treat you. I don't want to lose you, Hailey," said Jay. His tears are threatening to fall. For the second year in a row, he lost a partner, a friend, whom he cared, _loved_. This is it. He had already lost her anyway; he decided to go all out.

"I was angry at myself, for how I handled the situation. I didn't expect you and Adam… and I wanted to forget it, so I ignored you. One day went to another, and my pride got in the way to start talking to you again. I didn't know how we can go back to normal… because if we go back to normal, I might want you as more than partner. And if we cross the bridge, we've both been there. It's messy. I don't want to get hurt again, but moreover, I don't want to hurt you. I don't want to lose someone I cared for again," Jay gasped, unable to stop his tears from falling freely down his face. "Until the attack happened. I swore I didn't do it on purpose. I would be damned if he injured you. That was reckless and precisely what I thought would happen had we became more than partners. It would affect the job, and I won't be able to carry the guilt if you get hurt because of emotions got mixed in the job. So I did the thing I do best: running away from it. Continue ignoring you so I won't lose you," said Jay. He looked at Hailey, who kept her stoic expression but also had tears running down her face. "I care about you, Hailey. I really care about you, and I wanted what Adam had that day I saw him, I've been wanting if for some time, and I was upset that he got it while I didn't. I thought the love I felt for you was mutual." He finished his confession. Hailey's mouth gaped open. She didn't know how she should react to what was basically a love confession. Jay smiled sadly and wiped his tears.

"How stupid am I, I did all that to not lose you, but truth is I already lost you. I lost you not because you were with Adam, but because I pushed you away and hurt you over and over again. I'm truly sorry for that, not that I deserve forgiveness. I just want you to know that I'll always be sorry."

"I forgive you," whispered Hailey. Jay looked at her bewildered. Hailey nodded. "It took me a long time, but I no longer mad at you. I forgave you already."

"How can you…" Jay trailed off.

"I forgive people I care about, Jay. That's just how I roll," said Hailey. "I do have a question though… you said you care about me?"

"Yes, I do. I have a bad way of showing it. Truth is, I've cared about you for some time now. As more than partners. It's something I shouldn't feel towards a partner again. I love you, and even if it's too late now, I just want you to know," said Jay. For the first time in a month, the coldness in his eyes disappeared, and Hailey recognised the emotions in his eyes, which were pierced deep into her soul right then. She saw admiration, remorse, _love_.

"Do you still?" asked Hailey, her voice barely above whisper. She realised this is the point of no return for them. They would never go back to the old normal.

"Yeah, it doesn't change, however hard I want it to. If any, it becomes deeper. I loved you, and I still do," said Jay. Hailey smiled.

"The feeling's mutual, Jay," she whispered, and for the first time since she stepped into his apartment, she took a step towards him. Jay broke into a smile, realising what she just said. His heart, although still heavy, was filled with butterflies. It might be too late for them to realise that, but he was so happy that she felt the same.

"Do you wanna try?" asked Jay tentatively. He held Hailey's face and wiped her tears.

"Long distance relationship? Never did it before, and undercover…" she sighed.

"It's worth a shot. Even if there's a shot in the dark, I want it."

"Okay. It's gonna be hell though," said Hailey.

"If you're at the end of the tunnel, I'll walk through it," Jay pulled Hailey gently towards him. He was relieved when he no longer saw fear in her eyes. It was replaced with warmth which quickly filled his soul. "May I?" he asked for permission as he pulled her in for a kiss. She answered by kissing him, gently and sweetly. It was not a passionate kiss; they would have time for that later. It was a reconciliation kiss. To let him know that they were alright; everything was behind them. It was enough to make Jay felt lightheaded, though. He closed his eyes and pulled her close, hugging her. Hailey snaked her arms around his waist and clung on to him. Jay felt her sobbing, and he was about to chastise her lightly when he felt his own tears running down his face.

"Come on, we have a lot to talk about. I've missed you," Jay kissed her forehead and pulled her to the couch. They sat, arms around each other, ready to catch up, for the sake of yesterday and tomorrow. Hailey's stomach chose the exact moment to rumble, and they both laughed.

"Let's order something," suggested Jay.

"How about you order pizza? You're usually good at it," Hailey smirked, and at that exact moment, Jay knew he had been caught. "You owe me $10."

"You ate it!" Jay laughed. "How do you know?"

"You know my pizza order," Hailey shrugged. "I didn't suspect you yesterday, but now I know. Why, though?"

"I was worried because you didn't come to work… I wanted to see if you were okay. So I asked the delivery guy to open the door so I could see you," said Jay. Hailey smiled and snuggled into him, feeling him pulled her to his chest protectively. She came to say goodbye to her partner, her friend, her love; but she got more than she asked for or deserved.

* * *

The partners, turned friends, turned couple spent time talking on the couch while eating pizza and drinking beer. Jay once again apologised for everything, especially his stint in the locker room and apartment chase. Hailey told him what got her into sleeping with Adam in the first place, much to Jay's annoyance and surprise. They decided that kissing could wait; they have to be back being friends first. It was respect and friendship instead of sexual affection and flirtation that turned into love. Sometime between talking, Hailey had fallen asleep. Jay realised Hailey was sleeping with her head leaning on his chest. He realised that this was what he wanted. He wanted someone to talk to about everything at the end of the day, to comfort him and for him to comfort. Someone who would agree with him on principal things like loyalty and life values, but would bicker with him about pizza toppings and TV channels. Someone who he could go in sync with, not only physically, but also emotionally. And he wanted that someone to be her. He smiled and kissed her hair. After a month wondering how on earth he would make it right; or whether he could ever make it right; they were finally right where they should be. He carried her to bed, laying her beside him carefully like she was the most precious thing ever, and pulled her into him. They both slept while smiling.

"Hey," Hailey whispered. She knew Jay wasn't sleeping; his breathes were uneven.

"Yeah?" asked Jay.

"If I asked who you are, would you throw me out?" teased Hailey. Jay laughed. "No, seriously. I was thinking. About this Narcotics thing…"

"We'll be okay," Jay kissed her head.

"Yeah, we are. But I was wondering if there is anything I can do," said Hailey.

"You still prefer to transfer or do you wanna stay?" asked Jay.

"I'm scared to go deep undercover again," admitted Hailey.

"You'll do just fine. I mean, if you want to stay, there's still time, isn't it?"

"I turned in my transfer request yesterday, meaning I think it had reached Ivory Tower as we speak," Hailey huffed. "I wanted a quick exit, it bit me in the ass."

"Let's see tomorrow," Jay pulled her closer, savouring the moments they were together.

* * *

Neither of them was opposed to arriving at work together. Hailey smiled, remembering how she always asked Adam to drop her off at coffee shop around the block. They arrived early, Hailey wanted to meet Voight.

"Sarge, got a minute?" she knocked on Voight's door. Voight saw Jay just arrived at his desk.

"Yeah, go," said Voight.

"I have a huge favour to ask," said Hailey. "About my transfer."

"Here," Voight got a paper from his drawer and passed it to Hailey. "I must have forgotten to turn it in." Hailey gaped seeing her transfer request letter. "Send him in." Voight motioned to Jay who had been paying attention to what's happening inside. Hailey motioned for Jay to come in. Jay came in and closed the door.

"This ever happen again, I'll pull one of you and sending you deep undercover," threatened Voight.

"Understood," said Hailey. She smiled at Voight, then at Jay.

"Fill this," Voight passed them HR form which confirmed their relationship in the unit.

"How do you know, Sarge?" asked Hailey.

"I was once a detective, kid. I can play detective on my detectives. Hell, everyone knows," said Voight. Their faces reddened. "This ever becomes an issue, she's going undercover for Narcs. I'll make sure her cover is so deep you won't be able to even hear about her alias," Voight said to Jay.

"Copy that."

* * *

"I can't believe Voight did that," said Hailey when they were watching TV in Jay's place. "He jammed me up!"

"He knew you acted on emotions," said Jay.

"Believe me, I didn't. But he knew I don't want to leave," Hailey snuggled to Jay. Jay's eyes twinkled as he kissed the top of Hailey's head. He didn't believe that everyone knew. Hailey said that he was being obvious ignoring her while Jay defended that they were all good detectives. They snickered remembered what happened in the morning. Hailey and Jay were having breakfast while chatting on Hailey's desk when Antonio, Kim, and Kevin walked up the stairs. Kim practically squealed and Antonio raised his hands in victory, yelling something along the line of 'thank God!'. Adam who walked in next bumped fists with Kevin. Jay decided to play with them and putting his hand lovingly on her back, asking innocently 'what?' This action prompted gasps and laughter from their teammates and blush on Hailey's face. 'I knew it's were thrown around, as did betting money being paid. They forced Jay to buy lunch as punishment for ruining the atmosphere for a month; and everyone breathe sigh of relief because the situation would revert back to normal.

"I can't believe everyone noticed," grumbled Jay.

"Noticed you've been treating me like a ghost? Yeah, even suspects noticed," Hailey rolled her eyes.

"In my defence, I didn't know it would turn out like this. Can't believe I'm missing a month of this," he pulled Hailey on top of him. They locked eyes, silently speaking like they used to. Their heads came closer as their lips brushed each other. Suddenly, the door opened. They pulled apart.

"Hey, Jay, you didn't answer my call," Will barged in. "Oh, God, you guys!"

"What are you doing, Will?" yelled Jay.

"What are YOU doing?" Will shielded his eyes.

"Oh, come on. Grow up!" Hailey rolled her eyes and threw a couch pillow at Will. Jay laughed at how sassy his girl is. _His girl_. It warmed his soul to be able to say that.

* * *

_Of course Will had to be included somehow! _

_Finally I wrote my first romance fanfic! I'm no longer opposed to them being together romantically, but I agree to what I read online (twitter? tumblr?) that if they were to happen, they have to fight against it (the whole been-there-done-that thing), but eventually they give up. I still don't see them immediately jumping to bed together. Funny story, this is the fanfic that first got me started to write my own fics! Yesterday I finally reached out to the original owner of the fic to ask permission to write an AU. Let me know how do you like it! _


	2. Chapter 2

_This is another version of the story, not the continuation. It started the same: Jay caught Adam in Hailey's place after their fling, and proceeded to ignore her. _

* * *

Hank Voight sighed when he saw his two detectives working at their desks. Once worked tremendously together, like a well-oiled machine, they had stopped talking a month ago. Precisely, Jay stopped talking to Hailey. She tried making things right at first, but she had stopped trying after that, leaving those two at odds. At first no one realised that, since they usually kept to themselves. They were friends outside the precinct; Voight knew they leaned on each other after hard cases in a different way Erin and Jay once was. However, slowly everyone noticed. He have a solution, which he didn't like, but had no choice.

"Hailey," called Voight. The blonde detective looked up from her computer and walked to Voight's office. "Shut the door."

"You up for undercover assignment?" asked Voight.

"New or old cover?" asked Hailey, knowing her old cover as Kelly wasn't intact after her stint with Booth.

"New. There's a request from Narcotics for a female Caucasian undercover. Their only female detective is a black. One month gig," said Voight.

"I'm in," said Hailey. Voight wasn't surprised at how quick Hailey jumped at the offer. Jay had been treating her terribly lately; he wouldn't blame her for wanting an out.

"You sure? They're already inside, they have another detective already under. They want to make a bust next month, but the boss is a white supremacist lady who apparently trusts fellow ladies more. The one they currently have under is a male. If you're up to it, you have meeting with Narcotics this afternoon."

"I'll go," said Hailey.

"Alright. This is the Narcotics Sergeant, give him a call. Make sure you return here after your gig, don't get yourself comfortable in Narcs," said Voight.

"Glad to hear that," Hailey smirked.

"Good luck, and be careful, kid," Voight squeezed Hailey's shoulder.

"Thanks Sarge," Hailey left the bullpen to call her new boss.

* * *

In a couple hours, Hailey acquired a new identity, back story, and everything needed to be a girlfriend of a drug dealer. She was now a girl called Becca who moved from Minnesota, girlfriend of Hank (she cringed at this), the cover of Keith Nolan, the undercover Narcotics detective. She met their handler, Jasmine, the black female detective in Narcotics she immediately bonded with. Her hair was straightened and coloured a bit darker than her natural blonde, and she wore makeup. By midnight, Keith picked her up at the airport to take her to his apartment. That night, Detective Hailey Upton went on an assignment in Texas for an unforeseeable future.

* * *

"Upton had been reassigned, effective immediately. Jay, you're riding with me," said Voight. Jay's head whipped around to face Voight, looking surprised.

"Where?" asked Adam. He and Hailey had stopped their fling immediately after Jay caught them, but they left being closer than before as friends.

"I cannot disclose that, and no one talk about this to people outside this unit," said Voight.

"Why's Hailey been reassigned?" asked Jay in the car. Voight had been watching Jay since he announced Hailey's reassignment to the team. He looked surprised, and a bit conflicted, but had said nothing since they rode in together three hours ago.

"I got a request and I offered her, she jumped at the offer," answered Voight. "You think she shouldn't?"

"I don't know."

"I'll tell you. She should ask for transfer the moment you started treating her like dirt," snapped Voight. Jay knew the conversation was over.

* * *

Jay had been assigned Adam as his new partner. Not his first choice, of course, but it seemed like Voight held grudge on him about how he treated Hailey. Voight is Voight, he must noticed that Jay and Adam were at odds for a couple days before eventually called a truce. Through his contacts, Jay managed to gain record of Hailey's reassignment to Austin Police Department. He tried to ask his contacts in APD, but he didn't manage to get any information about Hailey. After two weeks, he couldn't hold his curiosity and braced himself to ask Voight about Hailey.

"She's undercover, and her handler would appreciate that you don't lurk around finding her alias," said Voight. Jay was taken aback. He felt uncomfortable about Hailey being undercover regarding what happened with Booth. "You have problem with that?" challenged Voight.

"She's very capable, but she had a bad undercover gig before," said Jay.

"She got someone to cover her back there," said Voight. Jay knew the conversation was over.

"Will she be back?"

"Why? I thought you didn't care about her," snapped Voight. Jay didn't comment, he left Voight's office with frustration.

* * *

On week three, Narcotics found an opportunity to do the big bust at the drug dealer Hailey was in. She had been enjoying her gig. She quickly gained trust from Xtina, the head of the drug dealer, and she enjoyed the company of her 'boyfriend', Keith. It took a while to get used to calling him Hank, not because she had known him as Keith before, but because the name reminded her of Hank Voight. The night before the bust, she and Keith sat in their apartment, going over their plan.

"You go back to Intelligence after this gig?" asked Keith.

"Yeah, I am," said Hailey. It's been a while since she thought about it, and considering the last state of her partnership with Jay, she would ask for a permanent transfer to Narcotics to work with Keith and Jasmine if not for what Voight said to her. She respected the Sergeant a lot, and was flattered when Voight made sure she would come back to the unit.

"Jasmine said my Sergeant would lobby yours for a permanent transfer," said Keith. He was a tall guy with blue eyes and blonde hair anyone would believe to be Hailey's brother. The dealer called them Blondies, to their amusement. He was a bit older than Hailey, with background similar to her: university before police academy. They had mutual hobby of playing video games, so off times were filled with Playstation battles. Hailey also appreciate that he was friendly, but kept things professional. She had a doubt about sharing an apartment, a bed, with someone she never knew before. But he made a nice roommate, treated her with respect and didn't try to make a move on her, and extra point for not snoring and being a good cook. Despite good characteristics that would swoon any other girls, Hailey treated him like she did her brothers. Keith had sister around Hailey's age too, so that helped them both to bond and settle their boundaries.

"Mine made sure I would come back," said Hailey.

"Too bad. Jasmine is already thinking about your girl power gang name," Keith laughed. "We are a small unit, but our Sergeant is nice. From what I heard, Voight has an attitude."

"I might join her for brunch later," said Hailey.

"And join us for a beer night too," said Keith. Hailey laughed. They had told each other about their units the first few nights, it felt like she knew them. Of course, she told him only limited things about Jay and Adam, and her complicated relationship with them. Adam was back to being her friend, with a better understanding about their different values. But Jay… well. She had unresolved things with Jay, and she was not sure where they stood.

"Of course, I can't wait to tell Jason and Terry how I beat your ass in God of War," Hailey laughed.

"You wish. Alright, I'm gonna call it a night. Good luck tomorrow," Keith walked to their room.

"Yeah… you too. Be careful," said Hailey.

"Hey," Keith faced her once they were in bed. It was strange, they usually don't talk once they were in bed; it felt too intimate. "We've only been partnered for less than three weeks, but I've got your back tomorrow."

"Likewise," Hailey smiled. She grabbed his hand and gave it a squeeze before turning her body around.

* * *

"CPD! Hands in the air!" they heard the all-too-familiar yell when all the doors were being broken. They threw their hands in the air, glancing to each other.

"Hey! Why did you look at her?" a man called Jake yelled at Keith and whipped him with a pistol. "You know this is gonna happen, I told you not to trust him!" he yelled to Xtina.

"No!" Hailey ran to them and went to Keith. Jake pulled her and threw her to the floor.

"Don't touch my girlfriend!" yelled Keith, punching him in the face.

"Yeah? That gonna stay after this?" Jake grabbed Hailey and pinned her to a wall. "Admit you're a snitch. You came to spy on us, didn't you? Who's your supplier?"

"Hey!" Keith ran to them and tried to pull Jake off Hailey. Jake pistol-whipped him again and he went down, passed out.

"Hank!" yelled Hailey.

"Hands in the air!" yelled Jasmine.

"Like hell I would!" Jake yelled. Jasmine's hesitation to pull the trigger gave everything away to Jake. "You bitch, you're a cop," he whispered.

"What if I am?" Hailey challenged, whispered back. She fought him, and they battled for the gun.

BANG!

* * *

_This will be a multi chapter. I almost didn't post it because I don't want to ruin the first version, but well... hope it's okay! _


	3. Chapter 3

Jake and Hailey fell to the floor simultaneously, neither moved, and pool of blood spread below them. All CPD froze for a second. Jake's gun went off, shooting Hailey on the stomach. As for Jake, he had a gunshot wound on his head.

"Gun on the floor!" a member went to Xtina who had a gun on her hand.

"He was about to kill her, that was necessary. No one hurt my girl," said Xtina who threw the gun to the floor. Jasmine ran to Jake, Hailey, and Keith, already calling ambulance without mentioning officer down. As far as everyone knew, their covers were still intact. She felt Hailey's pulse, yep, she had one. Jake was obviously dead, he was shot on the back of the head by Xtina. And Keith was out cold. Jasmine applied pressure on Hailey's wound on her stomach.

"Where's the ambo?" yelled Jasmine. Sergeant Adams went to them after making sure all suspects were cuffed and led away. "She's alive, Sarge. Where's the ambo!?"

"A minute out!" Terry yelled from the door.

"Hey, hang on there. Don't die on me, I'm scared of your sergeant," said Jasmine as she applied pressure to Hailey's wound. Hailey was in an out of consciousness, but she heard that one and choked on a weak laugh.

"Stay with me, Becca… Hailey. Stay with me, please," Jasmine pleaded. Hailey used all her remaining energy to hold her arm.

* * *

Med was already busy when the two ambulances arrived. Hailey was rolled in the first stretcher, already unconscious.

"Female, 29, GSW to the stomach, no exit wound, BP 80/40, GCS level 8, we intubated on the way," The paramedic yelled.

"Baghdad!" yelled Maggie. Dr. Rhodes was already inside, waiting for them to arrive.

"Will, it's Hailey Upton," Maggie caught Will's arm as Will passed by nurse station. "She has a GSW to the stomach, unconscious. Why is no one else around? Voight? Jay?" asked Maggie.

"She was reassigned," said Will as he flipped a chart. Jay's mood in the past month had been downright awful. He picked up few fights with Will, more than usual, on bad days. On one particularly awful day, drunk Jay told him about how he treated Hailey which might lead to her jumping head first into a new assignment in Austin. It made him wonder how on earth Hailey was in Chicago, bloodied and battered.

"Oh," said Maggie. "Emergency contact is Hank Voight, I'm gonna call him."

"If Voight came with Jay, alert me," said Will. Despite the reassignment, he knew Jay still cared about Hailey. He knew Jay snooped around Austin Police Department contacts a few times, asking anyone who wanted to hear about Detective Hailey Upton's reassignment to APD. Last week, Jay was being very quiet and restrained all of a sudden. Suddenly he looked years older. Gone was the light that used to be in his eyes, which Will thought wouldn't reappear after Erin left. After a few shots, Jay finally told him that he gave up looking for Hailey, just like he did with Erin a few days after Erin left. He even shed a few tears, mourning his partner, their friendship. Jay didn't tell him much and pretended to be back to his normal self, but Will wasn't one to be fooled. He's known Jay since the kid was born, for God's sake. Hailey's disappearance dimmed a light inside Jay, and Will wanted to hate Hailey for it; she could at least say goodbye. And now that Hailey appeared in Med, fighting for her life; Will realised there's more to the story then a reassignment to a mystery department in APD. Will wondered how Jay would take it in.

"Alright. Will, Exam Room 3, if you don't mind. Teenager fell from tree while decorating her neighbour's tree with tissue roll," Maggie rolled her eyes. Will snickered. Things people do on Halloween month… no wonder it's the least favourite holiday around ER.

Maggie saw Hailey's stretcher being rolled into the Hybrid OR, and casted a silent prayer. She liked the girl, she wanted her to be okay.

* * *

"Voight," Voight answered his cellphone. It was a slow day in Intelligence. He was reviewing some paperwork, but so far nothing happened. Members of his team—all were doing paperwork—turned their heads around when they heard him on the phone. Most of the time, it was how case started. "How is she? I'll be right there," he ran out his office. "Antonio, hold the fort."

"What was that about?" asked Adam after Voight flew down the stairs.

"Who is this she?" asked Kevin. They all looked at Antonio.

"As far as I know, Kim's the only she in Voight's life," said Antonio. They all snickered, but quieted down upon realising Jay didn't share the laugh. They knew Jay was still struggling with guilt upon learning that Hailey chose to be reassigned. Voight's sarcastic jabs to Jay about how he treated people didn't exactly help him, but deep down everyone cheered for Voight at least once. They felt bad for Jay, but they all missed Hailey, especially that she was nowhere on the radar.

"I'm gonna go grab coffee," Jay walked down the stairs. He walked like a dog which had his tail between his legs, defeated and spiritless, which is how he had been walking and carrying himself lately.

* * *

"How is she?" Voight's deep voice brought Maggie back to reality from counting glove boxes. She busied herself while waiting for someone to come out of the Hybrid OR.

"Still fighting in the OR," said Maggie.

"Voight, I'm…" a man went to him. Not fast enough, since Voight pushed him to a wall and choked him, fire in his eyes.

"I gave you my best detective and you did this!" he roared.

"I'm sorry, I really am. This shouldn't happen," gasped the other man, Sergeant Bennett Adams, head of Narcotics.

"Enough! Gentlemen, this is an ER," Maggie yelled. "Tone it down or both of you will be escorted by security!"

"Sarge," called Jasmine. Voight released his hold on Adams. "Sergeant Voight, I'm Detective Jasmine Pierce, if you would let me explain," Voight had no choice but to accept her outstretched hand. There's something about this detective that made Voight like her instantly. He followed them to the waiting room.

"A member, he had been eyeing Becca—sorry, Hailey, since she arrived, despite the fact that her cover was Hank—sorry, Detective Keith Nolan's—boyfriend. He hated him since she arrived. Hailey had been able to gain trust of the head quickly, as well as everyone matters. But that one, he eyed Keith with eagle eyes, waiting for him to make mistake, to out him and sweep Hailey. He started to believe Keith—and Hailey—were spies from another drug dealer, but never voiced it. Thankfully their back stories were solid, because he snooped around for their information. A school's server in Minnesota was hacked—there's where Becca is from. Today, we busted them all. Jake whipped Keith with a gun, and Hailey tried to save him. They battled for the gun, and she got shot," said Jasmine.

"Where's the son of a bitch?" asked Voight.

"Dead. Xtina, the head, likes Hailey a lot, and she believed in girl power and such that she didn't accept the treatment. In the middle of the bust, she shot him in the head. Good shot, I might add, nearly equal to a sniper's," said Jasmine.

"Ex-Army?" asked Voight.

"No, she used to own a paintball area before deciding that dealing drugs brings more money," said Adams, talking for the first time.

"We didn't make mistake, Sergeant. Your detective looked out after ours," said Jasmine. "She's gonna tell you that once she's awake."

Voight looked at Adams and Jasmine back and forth. For once, he had nothing to say.

"Is their cover intact?" asked Voight.

"Yes, so far. We haven't interrogated them, but no doubt so far. The only one Keith and Becca—Hailey, sorry, always called her Becca. They were concerned about Jake. The one who got shot by his boss. It's not needed anymore, though. As far as we know, we got everyone," said Jasmine.

"Keep me in the loop, and I want to read the case file. Everything," he said.

"I'll send you everything," said Jasmine. He touched Voight's arm gently. "Can I get you anything?"

"Yeah, I want my detective back," said Voight.

"Actually, Sergeant, I have spent the last weeks lobbying Sergeant Adams here to recruit her full time," Jasmine grinned, and Voight found himself infected by her smile. There's something about this detective that reminded him of _his_ detective who is now lying on an operating table.

"And I was about to make an offer, Hank," chimed Adams.

"Over my dead body, Bennett," said Voight, then walked back to peek inside the Hybrid OR.

"Sergeant Voight," Will went to him. "Jay knows?"

"No, not yet," said Voight.

"He should know," said Will, and Voight knew it wasn't a suggestion.

"They're no longer partners. Hailey's no longer in my unit, I'm here as the emergency contact," said Voight. "I have to contact her family."

"Sergeant, Jay has to know. If you know how much he mourned for what happened, you'd understand why. I don't want him to be damaged so bad that it was irreversible," Will bravely voice his opinion. "You might be okay having a detective in the wrong space of mind, but I'm not okay having one as a brother," said Will. "Our dad's death did a lot of damage already, I don't want to add more. He's my brother, and it's my job to protect him from further damage." Voight gave him a nod. He was touched that Will basically told him what to do over his concern for his brother.

"Alright, I'll let him know. I'll let everyone know after I let her family know."

* * *

"Everyone, listen up," Voight walked to the bullpen. Everyone but Jay was still at their desks, but Voight didn't realise that due to his computer usually hid him pretty well. They fully expected a case file being thrown at them. Someone had to do some high-level crime. Three consecutive days without new case is strange for them; Chicago isn't that peaceful.

"Three weeks ago, Hailey was reassigned to Narcotics, in Chicago. You couldn't find her because she used an alias, she is deep undercover," Voight stated the facts. He knew that at some points, everyone in the team had contacted their friends in police departments all over the US, trying to find her. Erin even called him to ask about it, since Kim contacted her to ask about the possibility of Hailey being recruited by FBI. Hell, even Special Agent Gibbs from NCIS warned him about a cyber attack, traced back to CPD server, about inquiry of employee named Hailey Upton. Damn, they could just ask nicely to those alphabet soup agencies.

"She was infiltrating a drug dealer to help Narcotics conclude a case, tying up loose ends before they make a bust. She went undercover as a girlfriend of a Narcotics detective who was already under," said Voight.

"Why are you telling us this now?" asked Antonio. Jay walked up the stairs.

"Because she's been shot, and she's being operated as we speak," said Voight. They gasped, horror filled the room.

"Who?" asked Jay. The others exchanged look, no one wanted to be the one who told him.

"Hailey," said Adam, the name got caught in his throat. He hated to be the newsbearer, and what he hated more is the fact that Hailey was lying in an operating table, fighting for her life.

However hard Jay tried to hide the fact that Hailey's reassignment impacted him, he knew everyone knows he blamed himself. He realised everyone's been treating him like glass, being careful around him, but silently blamed him for Hailey's departure. For that reason, he always kept his reaction stoic whenever her name was being spoken. This time, he couldn't hide his reaction. Blood was drained from his face, he was now pale as a wall. The coffee cup he carried fell to the floor, spilling the hot liquid on his feet, but he didn't react. His heart raced fast, he felt like his ear was muted. His knees buckled, and if not for Kevin's quick reflex, he would be joining his coffee on the ground.

"No no no no no no," Jay muttered over and over again, tears welled in his eyes and streamed down his face. Antonio stepped forward, taking over from Kevin, and half-carried him into Kevin's chair. Antonio looked at Voight, pleading not to make this a public display.

"We'll be at Med," said Voight. Taking on the cue, they all grabbed their coats and left.

"Jay, look at me," Antonio knelt in front of his younger friend who had a panic attack fully developed. "Breathe, Jay. Breathe, take a deep one," he commanded. Jay was now mumbling Hailey's name, some apologies, and some other undecipherable things. Antonio waited until Jay's breathing evened out, then forced Jay to look at him. Platt appeared beside him, it was no doubt Voight told her what happened.

"Jay, calm down… don't get ahead of yourself. Let's just go to Med, okay? We'll know more there," said Antonio. Jay slumped in the chair, suddenly realised that the bullpen was empty.

"Tonio, she has to survive. I have to tell her…" choked Jay. "She has to."

Antonio had suspicions about what Jay wanted to tell Hailey, but he didn't ask. "She has to, Jay. I know. Let's just go," said Antonio. He looked at the coffee spill and to Platt.

"I'll have someone clean this up," Platt referred to the mess. "Change your shoes, Halstead."

It took all of five minutes for Jay to change his socks and shoes because he was an uncoordinated mess. Platt brought him tea from the break room and helped him drink because his hand shook uncontrollably. Antonio hauled him to his feet and dragged him down the stairs, to the parking garage.

"Keep me updated," said Platt.

"Of course," said Antonio.

* * *

The waiting room was filled with grim atmosphere when Antonio and Jay arrived. Kevin gave up his chair, which was closest to the door. Antonio pushed Jay to the chair, he was still out of it. Kim who previously leaned on Adam grabbed his hand.

"The surgery took longer than expected, the bullet nicked an artery and she lost a lot of blood. She coded on the table once already. It's not looking good," said Kim. Jay gaped, tears started to stream down his face. Last month, he pulled the plug on his dad in this hospital. The previous month, they sat here when they got words about Olinsky's death. He had carried two caskets in two funerals in the last couple of months. He suddenly felt sick imagining what her funeral would be like. He could see a couple arriving; he knew them instantly: Hailey's brother and sister-in-law. She had shown him a photo of her and her brothers a while back. She was so happy that her sister-in-law was pregnant so that she treated him his favourite pizza in town. Not knowing whether he will see her smile, her laugh again, made him feel worse. He couldn't handle the thought of a world without Hailey.

Jay ran down the hall to find a restroom. Once he arrived, he threw open a toilet seat and brought up his partially digested lunch. He felt his salty tears and he heaved a few more times until there was nothing more to vomit. After flushing the toilet, he sat on the floor and cried.

She can't die. There are so many things left unspoken between them.

* * *

_See the reference to NCIS? It's my other favourite show, along with... all the other criminal justice shows. _


	4. Chapter 4

It might be a couple minutes or hours when Jay heard the toilet door opened. He didn't look up when he felt someone entered the toilet stool and sat next to him. He knew the hand that was rubbing his back without having to look at the face. After a while, finally his companion broke the silence.

"This door actually swings open both sides, but not everyone noticed that. And the lock can be opened using any ID cards. Hospital policy," said Will. Jay didn't give any respond, so he continued, "I'm not telling you she's gonna be fine, that's not on me. I'm telling you, you're gonna be fine."

"I won't be if she doesn't," Jay mumbled.

"Yes, you are. Come on, everyone's worried about you," said Will.

"They hate me, I caused her to leave," said Jay.

"They might be upset, but they care about you. Come on, Jay. You can't stay here," coaxed Will.

"No, her family is here. I can't face them," Jay resisted.

"I'll sit with you, my shift ends in 10 minutes. You can wait in the break room in the meantime," said Will. Jay nodded. Will pulled him up to his feet and guided him to the break room, which was empty. Will knew that it would change in 10 minutes, when the changing of the shifts happen.

"Wait here, don't go anywhere. Oh, and Maggie will inform you if Hailey's surgery is done in 10 minutes, is that okay?" asked Will.

"No, you tell me," said Jay. He couldn't face the news alone.

"Okay."

* * *

Everyone in the waiting room—Intelligence, Hailey's family—all turned their heads to the door. Sergeant Adams and Jasmine stepped in, with a man who looked worse to wear. He had bandages on his head and cheek, split lips, and sat on a wheelchair. He looked as if he could be Hailey's brother; with similar hair and eyes colour.

"Is there any words?" Jasmine passed Voight a cup of coffee. "Sorry, I would've brought everyone coffee, I didn't realise there would be many people."

"They're still working on her. She coded once, but she's a fighter," said Voight. Jay and Will joined them—Will was still in his scrub, and Jay was very pale. His eyes were red-rimmed and bloodshot.

"Hank, I assume this is Intelligence? I'm Sergeant Adams, this is Detective Jasmine Pierce, Becca—sorry, Hailey's handler. This is Detective Keith Nolan, he went under with Hailey," said Sergeant Adams.

"Sergeant Voight. You must be Kim, Becca—sorry, Hailey talked about a pretty brunette in her unit. And you're Kevin, you're Kim's partner, aren't you? Antonio? And you two must be Adam and Jay… Judging by the reaction, you're Jay, Hailey's partner. She talked a lot about you. And, are you Hailey's brother?" asked Keith.

"I am," said Hailey's brother.

"You're Bobby, then, and is this your wife Sarah? Congratulations on the pregnancy, Hailey is very curious about the gender," said Keith. Sarah's face lit up.

"It's a girl," she smiled.

"How come you know about us?" asked Antonio.

"Hailey talked about all of you all the time, she missed you guys a lot. I feel like I know you guys already. She told me your favourite Italian restaurant, Kim, and Jasmine said it's good. I can't wait to give it a try. And both you and she drink black coffee, Jay? She scolded me for putting milk in hers," Keith smiled. Everyone smiled too. It's obvious Hailey missed them as much as they missed her. Jay couldn't help but smile fondly. Will patted his back.

"I'm sorry we have to meet under this circumstance," said Sergeant Adams.

"I'm sure everyone wants to know what happened, and why it came down to this. Is it okay if I brief everyone here, Sergeants?" asked Jasmine.

"Go ahead," said Voight. Adams nodded.

"So Keith had been under since two months ago. The drug dealer was a big one, and we were waiting on the right moment for a big buy. Problem is, the head is a white supremacist lady who doesn't trust man. Keith knew about the prospective big buy, we're talking about full container's worth of drug here, but he couldn't get information about the date. As you can see, I couldn't go under. There is no more female detective in our unit, so Sergeant Adams found someone who was willing to go under for a month," said Jasmine.

"I offered the gig to Hailey, she agreed. The gig was one month top, and I gave her no option but to return after it was wrapped," said Voight. Everyone in Intelligence smiled.

"We can talk about that later," said Jasmine cheekily. Six pairs of eyes glared at her. "So in she went. Hailey Upton was being transferred to Austin Police Department, and we created a backstory for Becca Wells, Keith's cover's girlfriend. We created a backstory deep enough so if you searched for her Primary School diploma online, you will find it," said Jasmine.

"She was well-liked by the head of the dealer, and her lady gang. Went to brunch in the morning, drug dealing in the evening, that sort of things. Becca was at intersection in her life, so she came out as oblivious, which the head liked. She took Becca under her wings, and soon enough, she got the date and place of the deal. Meanwhile, a member called Jake, he liked Becca. Naturally, he hated me. He was hostile and became convinced that I was a con; that I spied on them for another drug dealer, or a supplier. He tracked our cover back, thankfully they were intact," said Keith.

"During the bust today, Jake had Keith beaten; he was convinced they were involved. Becca tried to save him, but he beat her as well. They battled for the gun, the gun went off. Jake's being shot by the head of the dealer, who in interrogation just said that 'no one hurts ladies'," said Jasmine.

"And where were you during the altercation?" asked Adam to Keith.

"Down, passed out. Got nasty concussion and some stitches," said Keith.

"So there's nothing wrong with the bust?" Antonio concluded.

"No. She got shot trying to save me," said Keith. "We promised yesterday that we would look out for each other. Sorry I disappoint you all," he looked straight to Bobby and Sarah and bowed his head. "Sorry."

"She knew the risk of doing this, that's what our parents always said," Bobby went to Keith and patted his shoulder. "Thanks for looking after her while undercover."

"She looked out for herself, she's a very decent detective. And you're her partner, she told me how you looked out for her. I'm sorry I couldn't live up to the expectation. This must be hard on you," Keith said to Jay. Jay bit his lip in an effort not to cry, and nodded slightly. His heart constricted. If only he knew… Jay felt Will's hand squeezing his shoulder.

"Hey, you were unconscious," said Kim. "Nothing more you could do."

"She's a very capable detective. I see why you were reluctant to offer her to go under, and rejected my offer point blank," said Adams.

"When she wakes up, we're gonna convince her by ourselves to move to Narcotics," teased Jasmine.

"You wish," Voight smirked at the pretty detective.

"Now what?"

"Now we wait," said Voight.

* * *

Two hours later, the number of people in the room diminished by three. Bobby and Sarah went home because Sarah got evening sickness—morning sickness in the evening—which stretched into her fifth month of pregnancy. Voight promised to call them if there's any news. Keith was sent down to a room; he refused to go home until they got news on Hailey. Everyone just stared blankly, or walked back and forth agitated, until they were tired and sat back down. Kim and Kevin offered to buy dinner for everyone, which was met with blank stares and robotic nods. None of them could eat, though. How could they, while one of their own was fighting to stay alive inside the operating theatre? First time the door was opened, they all turned around expecting news, only to be told that there weren't any. Second time the door opened, the person getting out was splattered in blood. It took Jay a glance to rush into the restroom, bringing up some bile and air since he had nothing left inside him. It's not the blood that disgusted him. It's the fact that it was Hailey's blood. He didn't bother to lock the door since he knew Will would just open it from the outside. Will gave him some time, then walked inside the cubicle like previously, pulled him to his feet.

"Come on, you can wait in the chapel. I want to pray for her," said Will. Jay nodded and followed Will to the chapel. As Will lit two candles for their parents, Jay sat on the stool. He was not particularly religious; Will is more a praying person than he is; but he believed in God. He would pray to any God of any religion who would listen for Hailey's survival. He found himself praying harder than he ever had since his mum was sick. His tears streamed down his face; he lost count of how much tears he spilled today. He would give up all his remaining tears if it means he won't lose Hailey in his life. He wanted, no, needed her in his life. He needed his partner, friend, and everything back in his life. All he wanted was to wake up from the nightmare and realised that it was still September, before everything went downhill.

Will casted a prayer himself, for Hailey, for Jay, and found himself paying attention to his little brother, remembering their conversations.

* * *

_"What are you doing?" Will asked. Jay didn't look up from his laptop when Will arrived, nor did he acknowledge him until five minutes later. _

_"I'm in Austin PD's database," said Jay. Will sighed. _

_"Still looking for Hailey?" Jay didn't respond to him. "And what would you do once you find her?" _

_"I'm gonna make things right," this time Jay looked up from the screen. _

_"How, exactly?" _

_"First thing first, apologise to her. Ask her to come back," Jay answered impatiently, as if stating the obvious. "And if she won't come back, I'll go there." _

_"Whoa, Jay, think again. Don't act on impulse. I know you feel guilty, but…" _

_"But what? I'm not impulsive. She's my partner, I'm going where she goes," Jay had no hesitation in his voice. _

_"Is this still about partnership or are you talking about something else?" asked Will. He knew the answer, and he knew Jay knows too. It was never spoken out loud, but it was obvious. _

_"I love her, Will, and I'm not making another mistake. I want to be with her more than anything else. If she asked me right now to move to Austin, I'm on the next flight," Jay smiled. "Besides, the weather would be nicer." _

_"Things you do for love, huh?" smirked Will. "Well, go find her and pack your bags." _

* * *

_"Something happened? How's Finding Hailey going?" Will asked because Jay looked glum and had been picking his beer bottle label for the past few minutes. An empty shot glass is sitting in front of him. _

_"No," said Jay. _

_"If you want, we can reschedule… it's just a normal check in," said Will. _

_"No, it's okay. I want to see you," said Jay. He flagged the bartender to ask for another shot. _

_"I've decided to abort the Finding Hailey mission. She's nowhere to be found, and… I don't know. It's over." _

_"Tell me what I can do," asked Will. _

_"Nothing. Just… stay," requested Jay. They sat there for 3 hours, not speaking a word. _

* * *

Will's phone buzzed, and he peeked into his phone.

"Jay, Voight asked me to bring you back," said Will. He prayed for the best. Jay's face became pale. He wasn't ready for this.

"Is she dead?" asked Jay. Even saying it made his mouth felt stiff. His heart was threatening to jump out of his chest. He looked up at Will, knowing that he wouldn't be able to stand—let alone walk—alone because his whole body started shaking. Will took his hand and guided him outside. Once they were outside, Will's phone buzzed again. This time, it was Rhodes.

_Connor Rhodes: She's alive. _

_Connor Rhodes: Tell Jay he owed me a beer. _

"Jay," Will shoved his phone in front of Jay's face. Jay gasped, shrieked like a little girl. It was a shriek he couldn't imitate in the future, however hard he tried. He broke out of Will's hold and fell to the ground, sobbing and laughing at the same time. His partner, his best friend, the girl that he loved, is alive.

He would treat Rhodes the most expensive drink in Molly's.


	5. Chapter 5

Jay felt like walking in a cloud. He heard nothing, paid attention to nothing, as he walked into and out of elevator. He saw Keith already arrived in his wheelchair. His legs were okay, but he wasn't allowed to move his head too much, hence the wheelchair. Dr. Rhodes who previously spoke to Voight and Adams addressed the crowd. Jay could see that the atmosphere already changed for the better.

"Now that you've joined us, we can start. She is lucky, really lucky I would say she has a guardian angel. The angle of the bullet, had it been millimetres away, it would be a completely different story. The bullet angled up, it entered lower in her stomach, and travelled up in her body. It hit her intestine and passed through stomach lining, nicked the major aorta and a couple smaller blood vessels before ending up in her lung. It was very hard to get the bullet from inside the lung, but we did it with no need to remove her lung. We have patched everything back. She lost a lot of blood, and received five bags of blood. She coded two times on my table. Right now she's in induced coma. If everything is going well, tomorrow or the next day we might be able to wean her off the anaesthetic. After that, we can start taking her off ventilator and feeding tube after checking her respiratory and digestive system. Again, she's still critical, but she pulled through this far, she's a fighter, and I don't see why she won't make a full recovery," said Rhodes.

"Is she up for visitors?" asked Jasmine.

"She's being settled in ICU as we speak. Three visitors at a time, and I'll allow two to stay," said Rhodes.

"Thanks, Dr. Rhodes," said Voight. Everyone thanked him. Rhodes could see how loved Hailey is by her colleagues, and passed Jay and Will.

"Thanks, Connor," said Will. Jay couldn't mutter a word, he just nodded. Rhodes patted him on the shoulder.

"Maggie said that if she didn't survive, I might find myself being shot in the head by you," said Rhodes. "I can see it now."

"He's gonna treat you whatever you want from Molly's top shelf," said Will.

"I intend to collect once she makes full recovery," smirked Rhodes.

"Thanks," Jay finally managed to utter a word.

"Just doing my job," said Rhodes, and strolled away.

The atmosphere in the room changed suddenly. Everyone's smiling, laughing, sharing the food they should've eaten hours ago. Voight called Hailey's brother and parents, and Jasmine called other Narcotics members to inform them. Intelligence members are touched to know that Jasmine and Sergeant Adams refused to leave the hospital even if they just got a big catch with the drug dealer. They said that two other members are just as capable, and they had determined that they got 100% of the drug dealers, which confirmed Hailey and Keith's intact cover and security.

A nurse came to escort them to Hailey's room. Once they were all outside, the nurse went inside and opened the curtain. Some of them gasped. Hailey looked… dead. It's not Hailey on the bed, just the casing of her. If not for the beeping monitors around her, there was no sign of life. She looked thin and frail on the hospital bed. Jay let out a choked sob and turned away. He hadn't seen her in three weeks; and every single day he imagined her to be by his side doing stakeout and raids. This isn't the way he wanted to see her for the first time in three weeks. Hailey should be full of life, and behind her unapologetic personality laid a warm and genuine person he found himself to be in love with. The lifeless Hailey certainly wasn't Hailey, but Jay knew that this version of her is going to haunt him for a long time.

"Three people can come with me," said the nurse as she peeked outside. Kim, Antonio, and Kevin looked at Jay, who didn't seem to hear the question. None of them moved.

"We'll go first if that's okay, we won't take long," said Sergeant Adams. Voight nodded. Keith rose from his wheelchair, walked slowly, and entered the room. They saw how Jasmine held her hand, and Keith held her other hand. Jay frowned. This person was Hailey's undercover boyfriend, and they clearly shared a lot of talk with each other. Narcotics seemed to care a lot about her, too. They talked to her even though she's out of it. Just before their time was up, Keith tidied Hailey's hair and kissed her on the forehead. Jay's heart raced. Aren't they partners? In his first three weeks of being partnered with Hailey, he hadn't fully accepted that he was partnered with her; thus he didn't treat her as a friend. But this Keith… they were more than friends. Guess things happen when people go undercover together.

"Next three," said the nurse. Once again, Kim, Antonio, and Kevin looked at Jay, who was still oblivious and pierced his attention to Hailey. The nurse saw that there were seven people, so she revised, "Actually, four can come with me now."

"Jay," Kim touched his arm. "She would want you to see her."

"I'll go last," said Jay. Antonio, Kevin, Adam, and Kim went inside. Kim immediately held Hailey's hand.

"You have to wake up soon, Hails. Jay is insufferable," she blurted out. They all laughed.

"You can have him back, thank you. I want my Kevin back," Adam continued, and gave Kevin a high-five.

"And I want my Adam back too, I'm running out of things to talk about with Voight," said Kevin, eliciting a good laughter from all of them. "Point is, we want to hear all about the undercover op. And Kim wants Keith's number," said Kevin.

"Kev!"

"You blushed when he talked about the Italian Restaurant," teased Kevin.

"She imagined having a date with him there," said Adam. They gave a high-five. Kim was blushing. He looked to Antonio for support, who just shrugged.

"He did call you pretty," Antonio smirked.

"See what I endured without another girl, Hailey? They teased me all the time," Kim softly patted Hailey's arm.

"You know, we looked for you in Alabama to Wyoming PD, turns out you're in Chicago all along… honestly, we didn't consider that," said Kim softly. "I even asked Erin if you went to FBI."

"I got in trouble with NCIS, an Agent McGee yelled at me on the phone. We snooped on DEA, CIA, state's attorney offices… and you're here," Kevin laughed. "You played us well."

"Jay's no longer himself. Boy's blinded by love, Hailey. You have to wake up and kiss him to make things right," said Adam.

"Or… will you wake up if he kisses you now?" Kim teased. All the boys were looking at her. "Come on, guys, it's from Sleeping Beauty," she shook her head in frustration. "Antonio, you have a daughter!"

"I'll ask Eva," said Antonio nonchalantly. They heard an alert from the nurse.

"We'll be back tomorrow," said Kim. They all said goodbye, and left. Voight, Jay, and Will entered next. Contrast to the previous round, this group was quiet as they entered. Will had to steer Jay to stand on Hailey's bedside.

"You better be back to my unit soon, kid. Narcotics were gushing about you," said Voight. Silence filled the room. Jay hadn't spoken at all, he just stood near Hailey's legs, afraid to be near the machines as if they might stopped working if he went near.

"You know, it's advisable to talk to a comatose person. There's a chance that they actually hear it," said Will. "This one has been a mess without you, Hailey. I need a sidekick in keeping him in check," Will touched Hailey's leg. "He almost filed a transfer to Austin, and you're in Chicago all along." Will said, half-purposely to gauge a reaction from Voight, whose expression didn't change, but Will saw his Adam's apple bobbed up and down.

Jay still said nothing, but tears streamed down his eyes again. He picked up Hailey's hand which had no IV, and held it. It was cold and limp. He didn't feel the spark he used to feel whenever they touched, whether by accident or purposely.

"Is she cold?" asked Jay finally.

"She is colder than normal, but she doesn't feel it," said Will.

"Good, she always gets cold," said Jay. "Is her brain getting oxygen?"

"Yes, they've tested her brain activity, it's normal," Will read Hailey's chart. Upon feeling Voight's questioning look at him, he mouthed, 'dad'. Voight nodded. Jay's tears fell to Hailey's hand, and he wiped it softly.

"She might feel your touch, it's being advised too," said Will. Jay moved, being careful around the machines, and planted a long kiss on Hailey's forehead.

"I'm sorry for how hostile I was. I was jealous. I love you, Hailey. Wherever you go, I go," he whispered on her ear; his forehead touching hers. It isn't how he wanted to profess his love for the first time; to the casing of Hailey. But if Will said she might heard it, than he would pour his heart out to her. Hell, he would annoy the heck of her so that she had no choice but to wake up and scold him. He started to sob so he pulled away. Will held his shoulder, his heart aching for Jay. He pulled out a rosary from his neck. It was his mum's, and he had it with him all the time. It was only fitting that the girl who caught Jay's heart hold on to it for now. He tied the rosary on Hailey's wrist, and put the chain on Hailey's palm. He held her hand for a while, casting a prayer.

"Come on," Will guided Jay to the door, followed by Voight. Outside, Kim had tears in her eyes. They all had a bet going on about Jay and Hailey since some time now, and Kim was their supporter. She knew that those two were more than partners; but until Jay's reaction today and his gesture around Hailey, she hadn't realised that the feeling was much deeper than she thought.

"I'm staying tonight, Sergeant Voight. Technically I'm still her handler, she's my responsibility," said Jasmine. Voight nodded and looked around his team members.

"If you're not staying, Kim is," said Voight to Jay.

"I am," Jay jumped at the chance. He was surprised that Voight offered him, but he wasn't going to say no. He was about to plead his case if he wasn't given a chance.

"Alright. I assume you're not in tomorrow?" asked Voight. Jay shook his head.

"Until she's awake," said Jay firmly.

* * *

The night turned out to be uneventful. Both Jasmine and Jay sat on the couch; actually, Jasmine on the couch typing her report, Jay sat on an uncomfortable chair on Hailey's bedside. He kept his hand on Hailey's, with hope that she felt the warmth of his hand. He fell asleep unknowingly, and when he woke up at 4 am, he had a blanket around him. He recognised it as blanket from Will's apartment. Jasmine was sleeping on the couch, hugging her laptop. He was still holding Hailey's hand, and he pulled back, looking at her closely. Her hair was now straight, and it seemed like she had it coloured. Jay caressed her cheek softly, being careful of the tube going into her mouth.

"You have to wake up, Hailey. Everyone wants you back. They can't deal with me because I'm intolerable without you. I'd buy you muffin every day for a year, anything. You can be mad at me, I don't care. But I need you. Hell, you can move to Austin, and I'll go with you," said Jay. His tears fell to Hailey's cheek. "I see you made some good friends in Narcotics, you can transfer there too, as long as you're alive, and I'm coming with you. Don't tell that to anyone, Voight might kill me," he smiled, wiping his tears.

"Remember when I went undercover, Luis Vega case? You said you didn't trust me undercover because you got eyes? You sat in the van the whole night, you had my back. However, I pushed you away. I went after Camilla, regardless of your warning. And of course you were right, I should've listened to you. After everything went down with Camilla; that was the first time I really trusted you. That's why I went to therapy, because I don't want to lose you as a partner. And I don't want to lose you as a friend, too. You're my best friend, and I need you around. I love you, Hailey, I've been for some time. Seeing you with Adam, it was the catalyst. I never admitted it to myself, until I found myself looking for an opportunity to go after you to Austin. That's when I realised that I've fallen hard, and there's no way to get out," Jay wiped his tears.

"I miss doing stakeout and raid and interrogation with you; the conversations we have in between. The way you joke, we had really good times. You made me laugh a lot, and I want to be the one who make you laugh. But, even if I can't, I just want you to be happy. That's the most important thing to me. Wake up, and be happy. And if the time and circumstance is right, I hope you'll think of me like I think of you," Jay smoothed her hair. There's bruises on her cheek, but she looked angelic. Gone was the unapologetic side of her, the know-it-all attitude that sometimes get them arguing, but he secretly admired. Jay kissed her forehead once again, cursing himself that he dared to speak and act like that only when she was unconscious.

Pulling her blanket up to her chest carefully, he slipped his hand under the blanket and held her hand.

* * *

The next time Jay came around, was to Rhodes and Will who were reading Hailey's chart. It was 8 am, and Jasmine wasn't anywhere to be found.

"Hey, sleepyhead," said Rhodes.

"How is she?"

"Her vitals are improving. If nothing changes, I'll start reducing the anaesthetic by the evening," said Rhodes.

"Her digestive system?" asked Will.

"That's my concern. She got two tears in intestine and two in stomach lining. That and her lungs," said Rhodes. "Let's just wait and see."

"Jasmine said that she's back to the office, but will be back here in the afternoon. Her undercover boyfriend visited too, but got chased back by nurse, apparently he sneaked out of his room," said Will.

"Are you on shift?" asked Jay.

"I am, I'll check on you once in a while. I brought you breakfast and Natalie will bring your lunch, and before you say anything, you have to eat or otherwise I'll admit you in for malnourishment," said Will.

"Is there such thing?" asked Jay to Rhodes.

"There is, unfortunately," said Rhodes. "Put your hands to the front."

"What is this?" asked Jay. He just realised that his hands were shaking.

"See, that's a sign. You have to eat, or else I'm gonna admit you to be given IV fluid," said Rhodes seriously.

"Alright, I'll eat," grumbled Jay, and opened the paper bag Will dropped on his lap. He saw his favourite: bagel with salami. He smiled gratefully.

"Good. I'll check on you later. Ask someone to page me if you need anything," said Will. He patted Rhodes' shoulder, and left. Just right then a couple peeked outside the room, followed by Sarah, Hailey's sister-in-law.

"Good morning, Dr. Rhodes. Hey, Hailey's partner. This is Hailey's parents," said Sarah. Jay found himself shaking Hailey's parents' hands, introducing himself. After Rhodes explained her prognosis, they went to the bed and kissed her, and held her hand. They noticed that Hailey was holding a rosary.

"That belongs to my brother, who you passed on the way in, he's a doctor here. He left it last night," said Jay.

"St. Raphael," said Hailey's mum. "Patron saint of medical workers and the ills, also means God heals." Jay just realised a pendant was hanging near the crucifix. He also recognised it as his mum's; she specifically left it for Will. He was touched that Will lent it to Hailey.

"It was our mum's," said Jay.

"Bobby told us what happened, and that there were two partners. You must be Jay, her old one. Bobby said that the new partner looks like part of our family," said Hailey's dad. Jay nodded. "Thank you for keeping her company."

"She's my partner, I won't be anywhere else," said Jay.

"You're doing alright?" asked Sarah to Jay. "You were in shock yesterday."

"Her transfer was done in secret, we were told she moved out of town. So to know she was here, hurt, was not something I expected," explained Jay. If Sarah knew he wasn't telling the truth, she didn't call him about it. "I'll take a walk, give you some time with her."

"Thank you," said Hailey's mum. She shook Jay's hand. "When she's back to work, keep watching her back, will you? We know how important it is for a police to have a good partner."

"Of course, mam. She's an amazing cop herself, she saved me from trouble a lot," said Jay. He grabbed his breakfast and went to sit on the end of the hallway. He just realised that his stomach had been empty for a while, and he felt hungry for the first time since the ordeal started.

* * *

Dr. Rhodes decided to leave the anaesthetic until morning. Jay was on her bedside all day, leaving only when her parents were inside and when he needed a restroom break or lunch. Around 5 pm, Jasmine and Keith visited.

"Anything?" asked Keith.

"No," said Jay.

"Where's everyone?" asked Keith.

"They got a case, they said they'll come by later," said Jay.

The team visited at 9 pm when Hailey's brother was there. Jay could smell gunpowder from their clothes. They went inside in turn, squeezing Hailey's hand and wishing her a full recovery. They couldn't wait for her to be back to work.

Jasmine stayed behind once again, and Jay had to admire her. She took her responsibility as a handler very seriously, and she clearly liked Hailey a lot. All of Narcotics seemed to like her, even those who didn't work together with her popped by, bringing dinner for them.

At 11 pm, Will entered the room. Jasmine was outside, talking on the phone.

"How is she?" asked Will.

"I thought you're on morning shift," commented Jay.

"I took a double," said Will. "Rhodes said she's doing as good as expected and will be moved to recovery room tomorrow."

"Good," said Jay.

"How are you doing?" asked Will. Jay sighed.

"Obviously much better than yesterday. Yesterday she might die, today the odds seems better," said Jay.

"Yeah, she did the battle for you. She knows that if she lost, you lost too," said Will. He adjusted the rosary in Hailey's hand.

"I just realised mum's pendant. Actually, Hailey's mum did," said Jay.

"When dad was angry because I wanted to do med school, mum bought it. She said, St. Raphael is patron of medical workers; he will keep my journey smooth. He's also patron of the ills. Seems fitting that Hailey has it for now. She means a lot to you, mum would approve." Will fiddled with the pendant.

"Mum held on to it when she was sick," said Jay. "Honestly, how is the possibility of her complete recovery?"

"I'm gonna say very good, although nothing is guaranteed. The improvement is exactly what was expected," Will flipped the chart and paid attention of the monitors. "Her BP is slowly improving, and when she is weaned out of anaesthetic, her body had to work. The ventilator and feeding tube are quite uncomfortable, she might be in pain from those. So if she can breathe on her own, and probably digest a little food, which need healthy lungs and digestive system respectively, it would be better." His pager buzzed. "I need to go, I'll check on you later."

"Thanks Will," Jay stood and walked with Will to the door. "Thanks for yesterday, too. What would I do without you," he hugged Will and patted him on the back.

"Anytime," Will ruffled his hair, and instead of being mad because Will messed his hair, he just laughed. He resumed his position on Hailey's bedside.

* * *

"The prognosis is good, we'll check on her lungs, then we can move her to a room downstairs," said Rhodes at 7 am. Jasmine was just about to leave for work.

"Perfect. Let me know her new room?" she requested, giving Jay her card. Jay just realised he had just spent two nights in the same room with someone without knowing anything but her name and department. Jay nodded.

"How about you take a walk? You look horrible. I'll stay with her until you get back… let's say, 15 minutes to recovery room downstairs," suggested Rhodes.

"Alright, I'm gonna grab some coffee," said Jay. He went to the cafeteria. On the way, he bumped to Natalie.

"Hey, Jay, actually Will asked me to bring you breakfast, but I haven't had the time to bring it to you. You can grab it in the break room, just ask Maggie to open my locker," said Natalie.

"Thanks Nat," said Jay. He was touched. Will—and Natalie—really took a good care of him.

"It's nothing, and I hope Hailey's getting better soon," Natalie squeezed his arm and passed. Jay changed his direction to the ER. He saw Will inside a treatment room, and frowned. His shift should've ended an hour ago. He walked to Maggie and got his breakfast—sandwich with a treat of muffin—quickly. Maggie got him a cup of coffee as well, and he brought them up to recovery room. When he entered Hailey's new room, he was greeted by Voight and Rhodes.

"Sarge," greeted Jay. "I was getting breakfast." Voight just nodded.

"I've reduced the anaesthetic in increments. She might be awake in 6-12 hours," said Rhodes. "When she wakes up, press this button immediately, ask someone to page me."

"Thanks Rhodes," said Jay. After Rhodes went outside, Jay put his breakfast aside. He had to ask Voight something.

"What?" asked Voight.

"You know she's being assigned UC in Narcotics?" asked Jay. After confirming the answer, he continued, "and you didn't tell us why?"

"What do you want?"

"Did you not tell us where she went to punish me?" asked Jay.

"It's called undercover for a reason. She was deep under, the only person she and Nolan had contact with is Pierce. Even Adams didn't," said Voight. "What do you think?"

"I think you didn't tell us was my punishment for treating her like crap. And her gone undercover too, was partly to punish me," said Jay.

"Not everything is about you, Halstead," said Voight coldly. Jay thought the conversation was over. He already grabbed his coffee when Voight looked at him. "When Adams was looking for UC officer, Deputy Superintendent literally looked for one based on age, hair and eyes colour. Hailey was the top candidate with her experience, I had to offer her. If she said no, the offer would pass to the next person. She said yes, so off she went."

"I was her partner, she was supposed to keep me on the loop. About being undercover and not out of town."

"You and she hadn't talked for weeks. I don't want you to mess with her head before going under," said Voight. "I was days away from breaking the two of you apart when the request landed on my desk."

"Are you going to separate us after she comes back?" challenged Jay.

"My rule is plain and simple. You've known it since you dated Erin. Keep it out of the job," said Voight. Jay just realised what his boss implied. "If anything you have interferes with the job, you're off to Austin," said Voight. Jay blushed. Will really had to say it in front of Voight, huh?

"It won't," assured Jay.

* * *

After Voight left, Hailey's parents visited, followed by Adams. Natalie and Maggie stopped by, bringing him lunch, and in the evening, Jay started feeling nervous. He got so used to being around a comatose Hailey so that he wasn't ready to be around an awake one. He cursed himself when he realised that he didn't know what to talk about with her. Moreover, he dreaded seeing her reaction when she realised he was at her bedside. What if she didn't want to talk to him? He told her some awful things last time they were partnered, and ignored her for the most part of the last month. He hadn't really talked to her in the past two months that he forgot what a conversation with Hailey was like. He just knew that being around her brings him peace, and he used to look forward to working together with her.

His anxiety didn't escape Keith's attention, who visited with Jasmine.

"Hey, I just got concussion two days ago. Are you trying to give me migraine?" asked Keith when Jay walked back and forth in the room for 30 minutes.

"What?" Jay was brought back from his thought. "Oh, sorry," he sat down and started fidgeting.

"Okay, what is it?" asked Jasmine.

"No, nothing. We… we weren't in the best place when she went under. Figured she might not want me here," said Jay.

"I don't think so. All she talked about you was good. I don't believe she doesn't want you here. If any, she would ask for you," said Keith. "How long have you been partners with her?"

"A little over a year," said Jay.

"For someone who was partnered only a year with you, she talked about you a lot. I still forget how Terry takes his coffee, and we've been partners for three years. She remembers how you take your coffee, your favourite bagel, even she scolded me for releasing the handbrake before turning on the car, because you said so," said Keith. Jay blushed.

More visitors arrived at 7; Intelligence arrived, Voight and Platt included. They just concluded a case, and so everyone flooded the room, waiting for Hailey to wake up. Rhodes who came in at 8 with Dr. Bekker, just before he went home, was surprised to see them.

"Keep the excitement down, will you?" he scolded them light-heartedly. "If she wakes up, call for Dr. Bekker. She's covering for me for the night," said Rhodes. "Her body is clean of any anaesthetic. It's just a waiting game now." He poked Hailey's sole, eliciting no response. Dr. Bekker read her chart and nodded.

"For how long usually we wait?" asked Kim. She squeezed Hailey's hand and got no response.

"Depending. I'm talking up to two days," said Rhodes, before calling it a night.

Kevin, Antonio, Sergeant Adams, and Platt went home after that. That left Jasmine, Keith, Kim, Adam, Jay, and Voight. Will arrived, intending to keep Jay company.

"Anything?" asked Will. Everyone shook their head. Will read the chart and checked the bag under the bed. "She's been flushed out of anaesthetic. Try to talk to her, studies said it helps," he suggeste`d.

Jay was at loss of words. He had Hailey's hand in his; he had been squeezing it every minute. He didn't know what to say; he had no topic after not talking to her for so long. Moreover, doing a one-sided conversation with the girl he loves, who is comatose, in front of everyone doesn't sound like a good idea. It could go wrong a thousand ways: he could either break down or talk about something too private. And he wanted her to be the first to hear him saying what he wanted to say.

"Anything, just talk about the last day of undercover, or your daily life, or the weather," suggested Will. Keith took over, sat opposite Jay and started talking softly to Hailey. He talked about beating Hailey in God of War, about cleaning the apartment once the UC is finished, that he found Hailey's missing earring on the bed, who got to claim the umbrella, everything. None of those are really important, but Jay found himself listening with curiosity and increasing jealousy. They for sure had their own _thing_, they shared an apartment and apparently, a bed. They had a domestic life together, in their own fictional little world. Apparently he had to cook every time she beat him in video games, and she upped her game every day so he was the sore loser every day. He wasn't sure he could keep listening to his ramble. He squeezed Hailey's hand and stood, about to leave when he felt her squeezing back.

"You feel that?" he asked to Keith, who had Hailey's other hand in his.

"What?" Everyone was silent, looking at them.

"She squeezed back," said Jay. He squeezed Hailey's hand again, shaking it a little. Nothing. He could be only imagining it. He had squeezed her hand over a thousand times in two days, maybe he was just wanting her to respond so bad that he started to imagining her squeezing his hand back.

"Hailey, if you hear me, squeeze your hand," said Will. "Anything?" Both Jay and Keith shook their heads.

"Alright. I'll just take a walk," Jay stood, again squeezing Hailey's hand. He caressed her hair out of habit. Suddenly two blue eyes the colour of the horizon blinked at him. "Hailey? You're awake?"

The monitor gave away her increasing heartbeat. Will pressed the button. Hailey squinted her eyes.

"She's not used to the light, I'm gonna dim the light above her," said Will. Keith immediately shielded her eyes from the light. Dr. Bekker arrived. She checked Hailey's vital, poked her legs checking her response, and checked her pupil reaction. The others waited on the other side of the room.

"Welcome back, detective. From what I heard and see, you are loved by many," said Dr. Bekker. "I'm giving you some painkillers. The tubes—ventilator through your mouth, feeding tube through your nose—I know, weird, huh? They are reversed from their usual functions—have to stay at least until tomorrow. Until then, we'll use blinks and tablet to communicate," said Dr. Bekker. Hailey had been struggling to say something. It sounded like a mumble no one can understand. After she repeated it for several times, Dr. Bekker looked at the crowd.

"She's asking for Hank."

* * *

_This is the longest chapter I've written, hope you enjoyed. _

_Don't beat me over medical mistakes! I read online a lot to try determine what a bullet would do. Some of the medical terms might make no sense, sorry! And the recovery period and procedure are completely made up. _

_In Chicago Med they mentioned Will's Catholic background, I thought it would be fitting to include it. Again, excuse any mistakes! _


	6. Chapter 6

"She's asking for Hank," said Dr. Bekker. Adam, Kim, Jay, and Will gaped at Voight. Voight looked surprised. Why would Hailey want Voight? Jay felt his heart sank a bit. Of course Hailey wouldn't ask for him the moment she came out of a coma, not when they hadn't seen each other in three weeks and their situation. But surely Hailey could ask to see her parents, or…

"That would be me," Keith walked forward. "I went under as Hank Peterson, we call each other with our UC names," he explained. Adam, Kim, and Will snickered. Jay kicked himself.

"She's under painkiller, she might sleep in a bit. Call me if you need anything," said Dr. Bekker before retreating outside. Keith was already by Hailey's side, talking to her. Jay slipped outside.

"_Did we get them_?" asked Hailey using the tablet.

"Yes, we got them all. The UC is over, we got everyone," said Keith.

"_You hurt?_"

"A couple stitches and concussion, I'll be good as new," Keith showed his bandages.

"_How long was I out?_"

"The gig was on Wednesday, and it's Friday, 9 pm. You were in surgery for four hours, everyone's worried about you," said Keith. Hailey frowned. "There's Jasmine, Sergeant Voight, and your team… Kim and Adam. And Dr. Will," said Keith, looking around the room. "The other just went home. Your parents, Bobby and Sarah, and the rest of Narcotics and Intelligence were in and out."

Hailey nodded, looking sad. "I'm sorry you got hit, and thank you for having my back," said Keith, squeezing Hailey's hand. Hailey squeezed back. Her eyes got heavy.

"Just sleep, Hails. We're gonna be back tomorrow, is that okay?" asked Kim, smoothing Hailey's hair.

"_I just woke up from 2 days sleep_" was Hailey's response, and when Keith read that out loud, everyone shared laughter and giggles for the first time. Hailey looked at the rosary around her wrist.

"_Is my mum here_?" she asked, pointing at the rosary.

"She was, but it's mine, actually. That was my mum's, I carried it around all the time," said Will. "Jay was here, I'm gonna look for him," he answered the unspoken question.

"_Thanks for lending it_." Hailey's eyes got heavier. Keith took her tablet.

"Don't fight it, just sleep," said Keith. Hailey drifted to sleep within minutes.

* * *

"Jay," Will found Jay in the chapel. "What was that?"

"What?"

"You waited for her to wake up, just to go missing when she woke up. What's going on?" asked Will.

"I'm not ready to see her," said Jay.

"So? When are you ready?" asked Will.

"I don't know," Jay bowed his head.

"Okay Jay, spill," said Will. "You haven't left the hospital since she got shot. You refused to leave her for more than five minutes, and just when she woke up, you didn't want to see her. That's weird, even for your standard." Jay kept quiet. Will stayed for a couple minutes. "Alright. I don't have shift tomorrow, but if you need anything I'll come," Will patted Jay's shoulder.

"I'm scared," whispered Jay.

"What?" Will sat again.

"I'm scared, what if she doesn't want to see me?" asked Jay. "She asked for her new partner when she woke up, Will. Not me!"

"Because the last time she saw him, he was unconscious. She's worried, and asked whether he was hurt. She hasn't seen you in weeks. That's it," said Will. "She saw me, and though it wasn't spoken, she asked about you."

"Did she?"

"No, but she frowned when she saw me, I assumed she asked for you, or 'what the hell are you doing here?'. I told her you were there."

"You shouldn't, she probably doesn't want me there," said Jay. "I'm not ready."

"You said that you would go to Austin if she were there. Well, she's in Chicago, alive, against all odds. You've been spared a chance. Do what's need to be done. You need a lift home?" asked Will, suddenly feeling tired.

"No," said Jay.

"Alright," said Will. He clapped Jay's shoulder and left.

Jay slipped back inside Hailey's room an hour later. Kim was there. Jay was perplexed; Kim and Hailey were never particularly close. They just happened to be the only two ladies in the department; they never bonded like Kim and Erin did. Kim was massaging Hailey's legs.

"Hey," whispered Jay.

"Hey," said Kim. "I convinced Jasmine to go home and rest, she will be back tomorrow. I will keep Hailey company. I assume you're staying?" Jay nodded. "She woke up in pain, her legs cramped. Nurse said the muscles need to be flexed."

"How is she?" asked Jay.

"She's still in and out, she can't stay awake very long. It's normal for people who come out of coma," said Kim. "How are you holding up?"

"Me? I'm fine," said Jay.

"You can't 'I'm fine' me, Jay. We saw how you reacted when you knew she's been shot," said Kim.

"She's my partner," said Jay. He sat at the couch and sighed. Kim decided to leave the conversation hanging.

* * *

Two hours later, Kim and Jay were sleeping on the couch, sharing a blanket. Kim woke up because there's light coming from the bed. Hailey was reading on the tablet. Kim stood and walked to the bed.

"Hey, you alright?" whispered Kim. Hailey blinked twice, sign for 'yes'.

"How are your legs? You need to stretch?" asked Kim. Hailey blinked once, sign for 'no'.

"What are you doing?" asked Kim. Hailey showed her the tablet. She was reading news. "I see… you're missing two days. Did you keep up with the news while undercover?" asked Kim. Hailey blinked twice.

"Kevin and Antonio said hi. They're gonna see you in the morning," said Kim. Hailey didn't react, but Kim saw tears fell from her eyes. She wiped the tears. "What's the matter? Anything hurts?" Hailey blinked once.

"_I'm tired. Night, Kim. Thanks for staying_," Hailey showed Kim the tablet.

"It's alright, Hailey. Nice having you back," said Kim. She grabbed Hailey's hand. "We weren't that close before, but I missed you. It's weird not having another girl in the office." Hailey typed a smile emoji in the tablet, and closed her eyes. She waited until Kim left the bed before letting her mind wanders. So Jay was still mad at her. He didn't even come to see her. She hated how it impacted her so much, especially hours after she came out of a coma. It had been almost two months since they had normal conversation, it should not matter that much to her.

* * *

The next day, Jay woke up early. Kim was still asleep, and Hailey too, so he tiptoed to the bed and sat on the chair. He couldn't believe himself; how bad his nerve was about meeting Hailey. Part of him was sure that Hailey wanted to see him; at least she wouldn't kick him out. The other part of him believed that Hailey held grudges on him. He couldn't take rejection; it would break him. He preferred not to let Hailey know he was there. He grabbed Hailey's hand and softly traced it with her thumb. He touched Will's rosary and immediately thought about the time he sat on her mum's deathbed. Pulling his hand from hers, he choked back a sob, and buried his head in her hands. To suppress his bad memory, he forced himself to concentrate on something else.

"Hey, Jay," Jay felt his chair shook. He jumped up. Kim was surprised. She knew not to touch the ex-Ranger when he slept, but she didn't expect the reaction. She giggled, and put her hand on Jay's arm, trying to calm him down.

"Kim, you surprised me," grunted Jay.

"Hailey's family are here," Kim motioned to the door. Jay felt himself blush.

"Aaah. Sorry," he said sheepishly.

"It's okay, you must be tired spending time here," said Hailey's mum.

"I'll take a walk," said Jay. Kim took it as a cue to leave.

"Thank you for staying with here. We should be doing it, but… we are old and have osteoporosis, and Sarah is pregnant," said Hailey's dad.

"It's okay, we're her family too," said Kim, then left with Jay in tow. They went to the cafeteria, and Jay slipped away.

When Hailey's parents were there, and Hailey was still asleep, Keith came.

"This is Hailey's partner too. Though he could be Hailey's brother," said Sarah.

"Hi, I assume, Hailey's parents?" Keith shook their hands.

"Wow, you… your hair colour matched hers perfectly before she got it dyed," said Hailey's mum.

"Yeah… the undercover operation required a girl her age, with exact hair and eyes colour, so she had it coloured. I never met her with natural hair, though," said Keith.

"It's just like yours," said Sarah. Hailey was awake. She knocked on the tablet to gain attention.

"Darling, you're awake! It's so good to see you!" Hailey's mum squealed. She showered Hailey with kisses. Keith picked up conversations with Bobby and Sarah. Hailey waved her hand when she heard Keith's voice.

"Yeah, that's your partner," said Hailey's mum.

"_Baby gender?_" asked Hailey.

"Bobby! Sarah! Reveal the baby gender!" said Hailey's mum. Keith slipped outside, he didn't want to interrupt the family moment.

"It's a girl!" Sarah squealed. Hailey's eyes lit up.

"_Aunt Hailey is gonna spoil her big time,_" she typed quickly, putting a lot of emojis.

"There are so many people who care for you," said Hailey's mum.

"_I haven't met some of them,_" typed Hailey.

"Yeah. There's a girl from your new unit that teased your old boss about formal transfer. And your partner stayed here every night," said Sarah.

"I like him, he seems like a good man," said Bobby.

"Your old boss is scary," commented Sarah.

"_He's a good man,_" Hailey quickly defended Voight. Her parents stayed for a while, and then left. Hailey let her guard down as soon as they left the room. So Jay hadn't visited her. Her thought wandered to what would happen after this assignment was concluded. She would go back to her old unit. She had to talk to Voight about changing partner… she didn't think she would be able to work with Jay, if he really was that angry with her. She thought taking time off the unit would make Jay forget about their misunderstanding, or at least, be civil with her again. She thought her being shot would make Jay worry, at least came to see her being unconscious, even if she hated the idea of him seeing her weak. Apparently it was just a wishful thinking on her part. Who was she anyway; they had only been partnered for over a year. Maybe Jay already being partnered with someone else and forgot about her just fine. Will said Jay was there, but she hadn't seen him. Her tears streamed down her cheek to her pillow.

"Hello, detective," Dr. Bekker appeared. "Let me check your vitals," she flipped through Hailey's chart and read the monitors. "Are the tubes uncomfortable?" she hoped to be met with an eye roll, but instead met with teary eyes.

"Does it hurt?" asked Dr. Bekker, her face softened. Hailey blinked once for no. "Can I do anything for you?" Hailey blinked no again. Dr. Bekker gave her a tissue. "Let me know if I can do anything for you. And… it's not my decision, but Dr. Rhodes might take you off the vent you when he does his rounds later tonight." Hailey gave her a thumb.

"_Thanks, Doc,_" Hailey typed.

"Do you want to do some reading?" asked Dr. Bekker. Hailey was still flat on her back, so she couldn't watch the TV. "I can lend you some books; I promise it's not medical journals." Hailey blinked yes and typed thank you.

* * *

Hailey spent the afternoon reading and sleeping. She couldn't believe how fast it went from being very fit to very easily tired. At 5 pm, finally she had some visitors. Kim, Kevin, Antonio, and Adam came, with stories about things she missed. Jay wasn't there, and Hailey wanted to ask if he was alright, but she found herself pretending she didn't care. After they talked (typed) for a while, Hailey finally asked about why they all arrived looking tired.

"We just had overtime, did some reports. We're a bit shorthanded lately," said Kim.

"_Sarge haven't replaced me?_" asked Hailey, adding an emoji to let them know she was joking.

"Of course not, and with Jay being here, it's only four of us, so…" said Kevin. Hailey frowned.

"_He's not here_" typed Hailey. Her teammates exchanged looks, looking perplexed.

"Hailey, he's been here since we got news that you got shot. He stayed here for three nights. First two nights with Jasmine, and last night he and I stayed," said Kim. Hailey shook her head. "Last I saw him was this morning, when your parents came."

"_My parents said Hank stayed her every night_" typed Hailey.

"First of all, you have to stop calling him Hank. That's weird, coming out of coma and called Hank Voight. We would've thought that you got amnesia, and smack you back to coma to reverse it," said Adam, eliciting a choked laugh from Hailey. "Second, first night Keith was up in observation, we visited him there too. Jay stayed here. He stayed every night."

"From what I know, he hasn't gone home since," said Kim.

There was a knock on the door. Dr. Rhodes came.

"Hey, I want to check on you. We'll try to take you off the vent for a couple minutes to check your response, and if everything goes well, we can take it off for good. Is that alright?"

Hailey gave a thumb up, and the rest of them went to sit on the side. They talked in whispers. Where is Jay? Kim slipped outside and went to the ER.

"Is Dr. Halstead in?" asked Kim to April, who was in charge.

"His shift will start in 30 minutes, any message for him?"

"Can you put me on call to him?" asked Kim.

"Usually we sleep before night shift, but sure, I can try," April put Will on the call. "He's not answering, but he should be here any minute. I'll send him upstairs," said April. Kim thanked her and went back and found that Hailey had her ventilator off and sat in a reclining position. The feeding tube was still there, but at least she could talk.

"Glad to see you breathing on your own, the sound of that machine was daunting," said Kim. Hailey smiled proudly.

"Proud owner of a patched lung," said Hailey. Her smile didn't reach her eyes, though, and they caught on to that.

"You know, we looked for you in police departments in every state… We asked our academy friends, looked online, everywhere tried to figure out where you were. We found you in Austin PD, but no department said you were there. Kev here got yelled at by an NCIS agent for lurking in their system," said Adam.

"I called Erin to ask about a possible transfer to FBI. She looked for you in FBI databases all over the world," said Kim.

"I was just around the corner. Sorry, the cover was deep," said Hailey. Her voice was hoarse, but she hadn't been allowed to drink. "Sorry, Kim, can you help me with a drop of water?"

"A drop?" asked Kim.

"Maximum of one teaspoon per two hours," Kevin said. Kim spoon-fed Hailey a teaspoon of water. Hailey choked on the water and spilled it down her front.

"Uh, you're probably not used to swallow anything," said Kim. She wiped Hailey's mouth and neck. As if on cue, Will appeared on the door.

"Hey, how are you doing?" asked Will.

"Better," Hailey's voice was hoarse again. She cleared her throat.

"I have to return this to you. Thanks for letting me hold on to it," she gave Will the rosary on her wrist.

"It's okay. It was my mum's. She had it all the time to her death. And the pendant is St. Raphael, patron of medical workers and sick people, she used it to pray for me being a doctor. I thought it's fitting that you had it while you were recovering," said Will, putting it back on his neck. Hailey smiled, touched by the gesture. She and Will weren't real friends; they hung out in Molly's once in a while with Jay, but that was it.

"I'm flattered you let me hold on to something precious," said Hailey.

"You're Jay's partner, our mum would want you to," said Will.

"Will?" Kim looked at him, frowning. "Can I talk to you outside?" They stepped outside. "Where's Jay?"

"Here? I thought he stayed last night," said Will.

"Yeah, last night. He's not here now," said Kim. "That girl had been in a coma, and woke up to everyone but him. Surely he knew better than to ignore her? I know they weren't in a good place when she left, but come on, that's low."

"I'll try to look for him after my shift," said Will. They went back inside. Hailey caught on to the tension.

"It's okay, I know Jay's not coming," Hailey smiled sadly. She wiped her tears.

"I swear, he was here three nights. He sat here, holding your hand all night long when you were in coma," said Will. "Sorry Hailey, he's an ass sometimes."

"No, it's okay. I shouldn't expect him to be here," said Hailey. She sobbed and gagged. Will grabbed a container.

"Here," Will passed it to Hailey. He helped Hailey lifted her head and rubbed her back as she dry heaved a couple times and vomit a little. "It's okay, just let it out. Calm down, don't strain your stomach. Are you done?" asked Will as he lay Hailey's head back on the pillow. He rubbed Hailey's chest to help her contain her nausea. "Wash your mouth, and spit this out," said Will, putting a glass on her lip and tilted her head to the side to help her spit out the water. "Now sip this, don't gulp, slowly," he got rid of the container and gave Hailey some water using spoon.

"Thanks," said Hailey, gasping for breath. Tears streamed down her face.

"Hey, hey. Calm down. Hailey, deep breathe. If you sob, it disturbed the feeding tube, hence you got nauseous. Don't cry," Will pulled her into a side hug and rubbed her back, trying to calm her. He held her until she calmed down.

"Sorry, Will," said Hailey sheepishly. "I miss you guys, too, but... I thought he would want to see me," she smiled.

"Just think of it this way: the better looking and more charming Halstead is here," smirked Will. They all laughed at Will. "However, my shift is starting in 15 minutes. Actually I came with food and clothes for Jay, but I'll take this with me since he's not here."

"Thanks, Will," said Hailey.

"Have someone page me if you need anything. I'm down at ER, hopefully people don't do anything stupid on Halloween month," said Will. They said goodbye to Will.

"When are you gonna be able to eat normally?" asked Kim.

"Probably tomorrow. Dr. Bekker said my diet will contain of mostly liquid, though," said Hailey. "One blended deep dish, please."

"I'll pass on that," Antonio cringed. "I'll see you later, Hailey. I have a daddy-daughter date today," Antonio grabbed Hailey's hand, and hugged her. "Glad you're awake, can't wait until you're up and running."

"Say hi to Eva," said Hailey.

"Yeah, I'll go too," said Kevin. He hugged Hailey, being careful with the feeding tube. Adam kissed her on the forehead before he left. Kim sat on Hailey's side.

"You're not going too?" asked Hailey. "It's not that I want to get rid of you, but I'm not a good company right now."

"It's okay, I am a good company," said Kim, changing the TV station. They watched TV until Hailey fell asleep.

* * *

When Hailey woke up, she found a brunette head near her hand. Her heart beat faster. She recognised the figure anywhere. It looked like he was sleeping, and if there's one thing Hailey knew about her (former?) partner, it was not to wake him up when he was sleeping. He had snoozed off in a stakeout before, when they had to watch an apartment during the night. When Hailey woke him up, he nearly attacked her. He apologised a thousand times after that. She smiled watching him sleep, remembering the good times fondly. It seemed like years had passed since the last time they were partnered when in reality it had only been weeks.

Jay's breathing became faster and he stirred, mumbling something in his nightmare. Hailey knew she wouldn't be able to defend herself if he attacked her, not to mention it would aggravate the tension between them, if it still existed. She decided not to wake him up, so she started stroking his head, hoping he would calm down. After a while, it worked. His breathing became normal again. Hailey couldn't help but tearing up seeing him like that. She nearly fell asleep when Jay moved under her hand.

"Hailey?"

Hailey quickly pulled out her hand, realising she might be overstepping boundary. "Sorry, you were restless, and…"

"I'm sorry," said Jay. "I'm sorry for everything," his tears brimmed.

"We'll talk later," Hailey extended her hand. "Come here."

At that moment, Jay's wall crumbled. Being careful of her feeding tube and IV, Jay fell into her embrace. He buried his face on the crook of her neck, feeling overwhelmed and peaceful at the same time. He slipped his hand under Hailey's head and cradled her as close as possible to him. Hailey rubbed his back when she realised Jay was sobbing. Her neck was wet with his tears and his unshaven beard tickled her skin, but she couldn't care less. She got her partner back.

"I miss you," mumbled Jay to her neck.

"I miss you too," whispered Hailey, tilting her face to the side and kissed his forehead, tears streamed down her face.

* * *

_Imagining the team's perplexed reaction when they thought Hailey asked for Hank Voight made me snicker, haha! And finally they met!_

_Please don't judge me on my knowledge of feeding tube/medical things! I did my research, but this is my limit. _


	7. Chapter 7

They hugged for a long time, until Jay somewhat calmed down, and Hailey felt herself choking. She gagged, making Jay jumped back from her.

"What happened? Did I hurt you?" he asked. Hailey managed her breathing, and fell back against her pillow.

"I shouldn't mess up my breathing, happen when I cry," said Hailey. She felt a bit nauseous, and gripped Jay's arm while taking deep breathes.

"Should I call the nurse?" asked Jay worried. Hailey shook her head, trying to keep her nausea at bay. After it passed, she sighed in relief. "Are you alright?" asked Jay.

"Better," said Hailey. "Don't cry, Jay. I'm here." She reached out to wipe the tears from Jay's cheek. Jay felt his heart skipped a beat. The feeling of her hand on him was electric. Jay closed his eyes and leaned into her touch.

"I'm sorry," Jay started.

"Can the apology wait? I know we need to talk, but can we do it later? I want to just enjoy the moment… glad to see you," said Hailey. She was still cupping Jay's cheek. "Why is there a bruise here? What happened?"

"Ah, nothing," Jay brushed it off. "Another day in the office."

"This is a new bruise, Jay. Five hours top," Hailey frowned.

"I'll tell you later," said Jay.

* * *

_Jay opened his apartment door while grumbling. Whoever was on the other side of the door was impatient and rang the doorbell multiple times. He went home from the hospital because he didn't have courage to see Hailey, but now he was starting to regret the decision. He felt like the biggest coward in the world. Upon opening the door, a fist connected with his face. _

_"What's that for!?" he yelled at his attacker. _

_"Come on, hit me back! You can hit me however you want, but you cannot hurt Hailey the way you do!" yelled Adam, pushing him back into his apartment and kicked the door closed. _

_"How is that your business?" Jay was still sensitive about the Hailey-Adam issue. _

_"That is everyone's business. We all care about her. That's what everyone wants to do for how you treated Hailey. How dare you didn't show up when she's awake?" _

_"That doesn't matter," said Jay. _

_"That girl cried until she threw up because you weren't there. Ask your brother, he calmed her down," Adam spat. "I thought better of you. She deserves better," he said coldly. "And no, I won't apologise for hitting you and saying all that because you know it's true. I hope I knocked some sense into you." Adam left and slammed the door. Jay was out the door in a minute. _

* * *

"How are you?" asked Hailey suddenly. Jay wanted to answer, but he couldn't find the right words. He choked on his words.

"Sorry, I was overwhelmed. When you woke up, I was afraid you wouldn't want me there," said Jay. He took Hailey's hand in his.

"Why wouldn't I want you here? Of course I want you to," said Hailey. "Because of our disagreement?"

"Wouldn't exactly call it a disagreement, but yeah. Without apologising because you want to do it later, I was hostile to you. I said some nasty things and… figured you might be mad," said Jay.

"I was, but, gosh Jay, I thought you didn't want to see me. Everyone's here, even Narcotics, but you." It's Hailey's turn to have glaze over her eyes.

"I know, sorry. I didn't think like that before. Forgive me for this one?" Jay had his puppy eyes. Hailey nodded. Jay kissed her hand.

"Sarah said my partner was here all the time, but she referred to Hank—Keith—as my partner, so I thought she meant him," said Hailey.

"He got some concussion; he was in observation the first night. Jasmine and I stayed first two nights, and Kim and I stayed last night. I'm gonna stay tonight if you don't mind," said Jay.

"It depends. If you're gonna go missing when I wake up, I don't want to keep you from your bed at home," said Hailey.

"No missing again, promise."

* * *

They spent time watching Blackhawks game on TV. On break time, Jay looked at Hailey. "I looked for you everywhere, I can't believe you're in Chicago all along," said Jay, tracing his thumb on Hailey's hand. He was afraid if he let go of her, she would disappear.

"I was in Canaryville. The UC apartment is there," said Hailey.

"We had a case there," said Jay.

"I know. Jasmine listened to police radio, she reported everything to me. I had to be careful with my cover, so she specifically flagged Intelligence and Robbery-Homicide," Hailey smiled apologetically.

"I miss having you around. It's not the same without you," said Jay.

"Sorry," said Hailey.

"Hey, apologise later, right?" Jay smiled. Hailey nodded.

"I don't wake up from a coma to have a heavy talk with you. We'll talk after this is over, Jay. We both have some explaining to do, haven't we?" asked Hailey.

"After you're discharged," agreed Jay. He noticed Hailey's eyes got heavier and she nodded off a couple times.

"It's okay, just sleep. You must be drained," said Jay. He claimed his usual position and sat beside Hailey's bed.

"You sleep like this?" asked Hailey.

"Sometimes… I slept on the couch once," said Jay.

"You have been here since I got shot, at least have some sleep on the couch," chastised Hailey. She rubbed Jay's arm. "You don't look well, I don't want you to get sick."

"I'm okay," insisted Jay.

"I can kick you out of here, you know?"

"You're the worst," Jay looked at her unbelievingly.

"Jay, please. I'm too tired to argue, but please get yourself some decent sleep. As decent as can be in a hospital," Hailey yawned.

"Alright. Throw the remote at me if you need anything?" Jay put the TV remote near Hailey. Hailey nodded. "You're comfortable?" asked Jay. Hailey nodded again, already drifting into sleep. "I'll see you in the morning. Happy that I got you back," said Jay before leaning down and kissing her head.

"…not going anywhere," mumbled Hailey.

* * *

When Jay woke up the following morning, he immediately looked at the bed. He sat beside her bed and looked at her sleeping form fondly. He remembered that a week ago he gave up looking for her, and gave in to the fact that he lost a person he loved, again. Hailey had helped him opened up in a way since Erin had been gone. No, Hailey had done more to help him deal with his demons, his trauma. She encouraged him to talk; to her, to her therapist, to Will. Hailey once drove him after a case to the Chicago Med ER, not because he was hurt, but because she felt he needed to talk to Will. He had matured a lot in the past year, he realised that much. When he first met her, he was running away from his demons; and was in-and-out of a relationship with Erin; which started with a schoolboy flirt and sexual attraction. Now, he was healthier emotionally, and he embraced his demons. He had Hailey to thank for all that.

"What?" asked Hailey when she opened her eyes and found Jay looking at her while smiling. Her heart beat faster. She was glad she didn't have the heart beat monitor on her anymore.

"Nothing. How's your sleep?" asked Jay.

"As well as can be with a feeding tube in my nose," said Hailey.

"Does it hurt?"

"Not really… but if my breathing got messed up, I got nauseous," said Hailey. "Tell me about the latest case, anything," asked her. She wanted to hear his voice more than anything.

"Our latest case… let's see. We have had three or four days without any case when you got shot, it was weird. But before that…" Jay told her about a drug smuggling case. Will appeared on the door, fatigue was apparent on his face.

"Hey," said Will. "I didn't drop by at all during the night, it was crazy down there. Can Halloween be over already?" he grumbled.

"You look like you're about to pass out; lie down for a bit," said Hailey.

"Yeah… you're alright?" asked Will.

"Been better, but yeah, thanks," said Hailey. Will pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Uh-oh. Quick, go home. You need a ride?" asked Jay.

"No, it's not a migraine, just a headache," said Will. He sat on the couch and passed out in a minute. Jay pushed him to a sleeping position and covered him with blanket. Hailey smiled watching the brothers. Their interaction always amuses her.

"What?" asked Jay.

"I haven't hung out with you two in a long time," said Hailey. The last time was before Olinsky's death. After Olinsky's death, and Halstead senior's, they simply didn't have time, until Jay found out about her and Adam.

"I know. Molly's after release?" asked Jay. Hailey laughed.

"Yeah, if only. My diet will contain strictly liquid until slowly I can eat solid. And of course alcohol is a no for the time being," said Hailey.

"Alcohol is liquid," argued Jay innocently.

"Nice try. Oh gosh, I forgot what it felt arguing pointlessly with you," said Hailey.

"I miss you too," smirked Jay. Hailey made a face.

"Hey, I think Will's in pain," Hailey pointed out. Will had a deep frown on his face, his forehead furrowed. Jay knelt beside him and massaged his temple.

"It happened when he's exhausted and stressed," Jay explained. He slowly lifted Will's head and slipped in below his head. Will's head was now on his lap. He stirred half-awake, but Jay soothed him back to sleep. Hailey watched them and smiled, touched by how caring Jay was to Will. They continued to catch up with low voice.

An hour later, there's a knock on the door. Dr. Rhodes came, followed by Keith and Jasmine. Hailey immediately put her finger to her mouth, signalling for them to keep their voices down, pointing to Will.

"Sweet," smiled Keith.

"Heard ER was swarmed last night, they called additional forces from the morning shift," said Rhodes. "We're so ready for Halloween to be over, someone once came with a banana costume. It got stuck to him when he wanted to make some black patches by burning them."

"He couldn't use some marker?" asked Jay. "But Will's favourite costume as a kid was a banana, until I pointed out that he should be a carrot." They all laughed.

"I heard Will pronounced a kid last night, and call amputation on legs of another, they're brothers. They were electrocuted by Halloween lamps or something… the trauma department was still talking about it when I arrived," said Rhodes. Jay, Hailey, and Keith cringed.

"I want to take you off feeding tube slowly. Your diet will be strictly liquid for now, and you'll go up to solid after your stomach is ready. Any question?" asked Rhodes.

"Jay wanted to know does alcohol included in liquid diet," said Hailey. Rhodes and Keith laughed, Jay followed through, being careful not to jolt Will awake.

"You might want to hang out with someone else for the time being," teased Rhodes. "I can join you in Molly's instead, Jay," said him before leaving. Keith sat beside Hailey.

"Hey, Bec," said Keith.

"Hank, err… Keith. Still not used to your real name," said Hailey.

"You should see how your team looked at Sergeant Voight when you called 'Hank' the moment you woke up," Jasmine snickered.

"Yeah, remember I couldn't call him Hank in the beginning? Hey, heard you could tease Voight," said Hailey.

"Just trying to keep the mood light, when you were fighting for your life," said Jasmine. "By the way, your phone. Your real phone," she passed Hailey a phone Hailey hadn't seen in weeks. Hailey's eyes lit up.

"We're gonna close the UC apartment tomorrow. Is it okay if Jasmine and I pack your things?" asked Keith.

"Yeah, of course you can. Thank you," said Hailey.

"We'll bring your things tomorrow," said Keith. They left in a bit. Will was still asleep. Hailey put on a game on TV and they watched TV.

"Hey," Hailey looked at Jay. "Do you mind if I ask?"

"About?"

"Where did you look for me?"

"Everywhere," he looked down at Will who stirred in his sleep and ran his hand through Will's hair until he calmed down, while thinking about things to say to Hailey. "I found your transfer paper to Austin, but I lost track of you in APD."

"Yeah, Kim and the others said they looked for me in PD across the US, as well as other agencies," said Hailey. Jay frowned. He wasn't aware of that.

"I think they were mad at me, they thought you left because of me," said Jay. "Did you?"

"Hey, don't think like that," said Hailey. Jay refused to look at her.

"Did you?" asked Jay. Hailey gulped. She never wanted to have this conversation. However, she was determined the day Jay caught her and Adam that if they were to return to normal, she would be honest with him.

"You're not the only reason," Hailey finally answered. Her heart broke seeing Jay's deflated expression. "There are some other reasons for me to undertake the assignment, though, so it's not only because of you. Alright?"

Jay looked down. Finally he got the confirmation. He was in denial the whole time; he refused to believe that his behaviour towards her made her leave. To hear her saying that was like being stabbed in the gut, and have the knife twisted inside him. What if she was gone for real? Then it was his responsibility.

"Hey, look at me!" Hailey was getting frustrated. She cried in pain pushing herself to a sitting position. Jay looked at her in horror, but couldn't do anything because Will was still sleeping on his lap.

"What are you doing?"

"I'll get off the bed if you don't hear me out," threatened Hailey. She waited until she got a slight nod out of Jay. "I was also challenged, last time I went undercover it wasn't very successful. And I wanted to have different undercover memory. I wanted another shot at being undercover, so I went. Had we been on a good term I would discuss it with you, but I went because I wanted to, not because I wanted to escape you," she paused, waiting for Jay's reaction. "Never mind, you don't believe me," it's her turn to look hurt when Jay looked at her cynically.

"I need some time," announced Jay. He slipped out from his seat, replacing his thigh with pillows for Will to sleep on, and went to the bed. He grabbed Hailey's hand. "I'll be back."

Hailey let go of his hand. "That's the truth. If you believe me, stay. If you don't, go. And don't bother coming back," she said coldly. It took everything in her to say that, but she needed to make him take a drastic decision. She watched Jay gaped hearing her. She threatened him only once before, when he refused to go to therapy. Jay finally sat beside her bed, putting his head on the sheet and buried his face in his hands.

"Why are you making this so hard?" asked Hailey. "You asked me, I told the truth. Would you rather I sugarcoat?"

"Had you discuss with me, I would've said no," said Jay, looking at Hailey with teary eyes.

"It wasn't up to you. You know what happened with Booth… I wanted redemption," said Hailey. "Had I discuss it with you, you'd say no, I'd say it's not your decision… we'd fight anyway."

"Don't do it again. I can't keep my sanity if you go on another gig," Jay whispered, grabbing Hailey's hand again. This time, she let him. "I know you are able, but… I can't stand not knowing whether you are safe." He decided to put his heart out there.

"It comes with the job," said Hailey. Dr. Rhodes chose the exact moment to knock and let himself in. Jay released Hailey's hand.

"Are you ready to try to eat? If it goes well, we'll talk about taking the feeding tube out," said Rhodes. Hailey nodded. "Right, I'll have something being brought for you. Your diet is strictly liquid for now, and no alcohol. You'll eat solid food if liquid goes well."

"Noted," said Hailey. "Oh, does liquid mean juices and that kind of stuff or can I ask for a deep dish to be made into shake?"

"Blended deep dish if you can keep the juices down," said Rhodes. Jay cringed, clearly disgusted by her question.

"Really?" asked Jay. Hailey shrugged. Rhodes left them. "Talking about fighting…"

"Ugh," Will grabbed his head in his sleep. Jay looked at him, torn between continuing the conversation with Hailey or attending to Will.

"Hey, I know we need to talk. And we will. But this isn't the place… or time. We'll talk after I got discharged, okay?" Hailey looked at Jay.

"Okay," Jay rose and went to Will's side. Will was waking up; he got a total of two hours of sleep. Jay helped him sit up. "You better?" asked Jay, his hand massaging the nape of Will's neck.

"Yeah, a bit," said Will. He focused his sight on Hailey and smiled sheepishly. "Sorry I overstayed my welcome. It was the best after-shift nap. Usually I slept in the break room."

"It's okay, you're welcome to keep me company," said Hailey. A nurse came in bringing a glass of juice. Hailey thanked her, and started to eye the juice. "I can't believe I haven't eaten in days."

"Slowly, like real slow," Will warned her. He sat beside Hailey's bed, a right decision as she gagged a few seconds after the first sip. Will thrust a bag for her to spit into.

"The blended deep dish has to wait," Jay snickered while rubbing her back. Will cleaned her up and gave her water. After she kept the water down, she started sipping on the juice. She couldn't believe it took her 15 minutes just to drink a quarter glass of juice.

* * *

Will and Hailey insisted that Jay have to go home and rest for a bit. He hadn't had any restful sleep lately, and he was battling exhaustion. Not to mention the emotional torture he went through the past month, especially last few days. Will drove him home, and promised to pick him up later to grab his car from the district. Jay woke up from nap at 3 pm, suddenly realised how tired he was. When he stepped out of his room, he was startled to see Will in his kitchen.

"You should remember I'm a cop, I have gun on my bedside table," grunted Jay. "No, I don't, but you know what I mean."

"I made noises, you're too tired to notice," said Will. "Eat," he pointed at a takeout container. Jay just remembered that he hadn't eaten anything since morning, and gratefully opened the container.

"You've finally came to your sense and talked to her," deducted Will.

"We haven't talked. We called truce, and promised to talk when she was released. Too many distractions in the hospital, and we're not in the right space of mind," said Jay. He remembered what Adam said about Will being there for Hailey. "Hey, you saw her yesterday? Adam said you were there when she cried? Was she really?"

"Yeah, she was upset you weren't there, while everyone was in and out," said Will. "Adam told you that?"

"Yeah, he came here angry. Couldn't blame him, he slept with her," Jay spat.

"I saw the way they treated each other, they were friends. He cares for her. Don't judge them before you hear what she needs to say. I think Kim is angrier than Adam. And for a second yesterday, I was angry as well. Girl went through hell, and the only person she cared to see wasn't around," said Will.

"I thought she didn't want to see me," sighed Jay.

"When did you see her?"

"I came when she was asleep, and I fell asleep there. I think I got a nightmare, because she calmed me down. Around 9 last night," said Jay. He blushed when he remembered how emotional he was upon finally meeting her, and how peaceful he felt laying his head on the crook of her neck, her hand running up and down his back trying to calm him down from his full-blown cry. He was worried she could feel his rapid heartbeat as she brushed her lips against his forehead.

"Have you told her you love her?" asked Will. Jay choked on his drink, and Will laughed while patting his back. "I'll take it as a no. Don't wait too long, you know what happen when you wait. Timing's a bitch the last time," said Will. "Come on, I'll drop you at the district while picking up Owen."

Jay followed Will to the car. He had no doubt about his feeling. He loves her. Not only because he almost lost her, but because he couldn't bear just the thought of losing her. The hours when she was in surgery made him lost his mind, and the past month not knowing anything about her suck out his soul. She was, and is, his soul. The problem is does she feel the same?


	8. Chapter 8

When Keith and Jasmine visited and the team were gathered, they brought Hailey's undercover belongings. Some of it belonged to Hailey, some to Narcotics. Suddenly Hailey remembered something.

"Hey, grab my clothes in the drawer. Are my jewelleries there?" she pointed to the drawer. Jasmine quickly found the jewelleries. "I have to return the necklace," said Hailey. It's a necklace worn by her cover, said to be given to her by her boyfriend.

"I bought it in flea market. You can keep it; it has 'H' for Hank. You know the real Hank, don't you?" teased Jasmine.

"It was inappropriate," Kim chimed in and laughed.

"You think I will wear a necklace with my Sergeant's initial? The least you can say is that 'H' is for Hailey," Hailey rolled her eyes. Everyone laughed.

"Yeah, that too," said Jasmine.

"Glad to share the UC with you, Hailey. Hope we can work together again in the future, minus the bullet," Keith went to Hailey and gave her a hug.

"Yeah, likewise. Thanks. Appreciate everything you did, including your cooking," Hailey smiled.

"That's the sweetest break up I've seen," commented Jasmine. "I'm still disappointed I can't convince you to transfer. Or trade-in with Terry… or Keith."

"Hey!" protested Keith.

"I'll come say hi," said Hailey. "Sorry, I can't." She looked at Jay who looked uneasy. Jay caught her eyes and nodded. He still felt uneasy every time someone mentioned a transfer.

"Yeah, you can keep this," Keith put a pillow on Hailey's bed. It has flower pattern on it. Hailey laughed. The others waited to hear the story.

"Oh, what? Nothing, it was…" Hailey giggled. "Well, first night I came… let's put it this way, I woke up to his face two inches in front of mine," her face went deep red.

"You screamed to my face and nearly punched me!" defended Keith. "In my defence, I was used to the bed as my own, and suddenly she infiltrated one side. Anyway, we went to the closest store immediately and purchased that as a separator." Both their faces were red, having to tell the story to their colleagues.

"What is this?" asked Kim, holding a floral dress up.

"Oh, Becca is a girly girl. My plaid shirts won't do," said Hailey. "I wore make-up and did my hair."

"Do we have to put you under again to see that?" teased Kim. Hailey rolled her eyes.

"You're putting that on when we're having ladies brunch," said Jasmine. "Or when we're celebrating this assignment, when you are released."

* * *

"Are you really not interested to transfer to Narcotics?" asked Jay later that night. Everybody had gone and it just left the two of them, watching a game on TV.

"Actually, I was tempted," said Hailey.

"Their team seems… nice," Jay kept his eyes on the TV, but Hailey knew better. He tensed up every time Narcotics came for a visit.

"They are. I met all of them on the first they when they briefed me. After that, it was just Keith and Jasmine," said Hailey. "Why asking about transfer?"

"I thought… no, never mind. Forget it," said Jay.

"It occurred to me, when Keith told stories about their unit, that we're basically the same. They care about each other a lot, too. We just went through so much… losing Al, so that we weren't in a good place. At least when I left. But we care about each other too, and that's precious," said Hailey.

"Promise me one thing?" Jay looked at Hailey, the game was forgotten. "If you ever think about getting a transfer, wherever it is, let me tag along."

"Even to Austin?" asked Hailey.

"I'll go wherever you go, especially to Austin. Nice weather, good BBQ? Count me in." Jay smirked.

"I'll keep that in mind. But for now, I'm not going anywhere." She smiled at him comfortingly.

Jay released the breath he unknowingly had been holding. He didn't get his partner back just to lose her.

* * *

The following week saw Hailey relearned to eat. When she got used the fruit juices, she started asking for milkshakes before escalating to soups. She did well with smooth soups like tomato soup—even asked for the grilled cheese sandwich to be blended in, much to the surprise and disgust of the team, even some of the hospital staff. Then she tried to eat noodle soup, it went back up immediately—her stomach wasn't ready. So she got the noodle soup blended until the consistency resembled porridge, and it got digested well. At the end of the week, the feeding tube was out, to her relief.

Jay went back to work as per Voight's order and Hailey's wish. She liked having Jay around; her heart actually fluttered when she learned how much time had he spent sitting by her bed; but she needed room too. She spent her undercover time sharing an apartment—a bed—with Keith, and when they weren't together, she was always with Xtina. She hadn't had alone time for a month. Of course, Jay appeared at the hospital shortly after he was off work every day and didn't leave until he went to the district the next day. At first, Hailey insisted that he went home, and he stayed at home only for a night. The following night, he sneaked in late when she was already asleep, and Hailey stopped bugging him to get a proper rest at home. It's what they both preferred anyway, and they became used to each other's presence, the fight and undercover period was long forgotten.

She was finally released the following weekend. Kim picked her up—Jay had a last minute meeting with his CI—and going to drove her home. When Kim arrived, she was ready. She had a University of Minnesota hoodie and sweatpants on, and her hair was pulled up in a bun. Kim stopped on the doorframe.

"You're wearing that?" asked Kim.

"Yeah, why are you so dressed up?" Hailey asked back seeing Kim wearing pretty dress.

"Why are you so messed up? You're released from a hospital!" Kim rummaged through a bag. "Actually, I anticipated that. Here, put this on," she tossed the floral dress from last week.

"What? No, I'm going home, where I can wander around wearing only pyjama."

"Yeah, we're taking a detour. Jay didn't tell you that we're celebrating your release? Well, technically they're celebrating the UC work, but we're tagging along. Come on, I bring your makeup from the UC apartment as well," Kim put a pouch on the bed.

"Kim, I haven't even showered because I was planning a long warm bath at home," argued Hailey.

"Sorry, everyone's already waiting for you," Kim smiled apologetically.

"I'm gonna kill Jay," murmured Hailey. He didn't tell her that there's a celebration. Growling in frustration, she grabbed the dress from Kim and went to the bathroom.

It took her less than 30 minutes to get ready. She showered, put on the dress and makeup, and pulled her hair up. Kim whistled when she got out of the bathroom.

"We totally should brunch with Jasmine, she had tried Acanta per your recommendation," said Kim.

"How about we have brunch in Acanta next week?" offered Hailey. They were never good friends before; they had lunch once after butting heads on a case, but that was it.

"Yeah, I'm in," said Kim. Will came with a wheelchair. Hailey gave him a death stare.

"What? It's an honour, I don't usually escort a patient out the door," he smirked. "Protocol, Hailey, but if you insist, I can allow you to walk."

"Thanks for everything, Will," Hailey crossed the room and hugged Will. He had been a regular visitor, sometimes with Natalie, sometimes by himself. On quiet night shift, he would keep her and Jay company. He brought food often, and popped by in the afternoon whenever he got free time. Hailey never knew Will personally before, but she found herself enjoying his company a lot. He is very different from Jay, yet also very similar.

"I didn't save your life, Connor did," said Will. As if on cue, Dr. Rhodes appeared.

"Ah, going to save the world again, detective? Remember, rest at home for a week, desk work for a week, and we'll go from there. Check up next week," said Rhodes.

"Thank you, doctor, for saving my life," said Hailey. She then made a round, thanking each nurses who cared for her, complying her request of making weird foods into smoothie.

* * *

"Where are we going?" asked Hailey as soon as they went in the car. Kim just drove until they arrived at Acanta.

"Really?" Hailey laughed. As she pushed the door, she saw all Intelligence and Narcotics—except Jay and Adam—turning towards the door and clapping. She hugged everyone around the table and sat between Keith and Kim.

"Aren't you even looking for me?" Jay clapped her on the shoulder. "Welcome back, partner,"

"Hey," Hailey grabbed his hand. "I'm not actually back on duty, so you're still with Adam for the time being."

"I know, pity me," said Jay.

"Hey!" Adam bent down to hug Hailey. "I'll happily toss Halstead back to you once you're back with us." He received a jab to the shoulder for that. They never talked about the punch in Jay's apartment, but Jay had come to a realisation that Adam cared about Hailey as a sibling and that the hook-up was a mistake. It had helped him to finally warm up to Adam, a month after they were partnered. Sure, he preferred Hailey, but Adam wasn't bad either.

After they had their meal, Sergeant Adams toasted their success in busting one of the biggest drug supplier in Illinois. It was included in list of big catch in the country this year. "And for Detective Upton, who came to save us last minute. It was an assignment well done, and we're all very happy that you're well and will be back to duty in few weeks. Thank you, you will always be family, and anytime you feel rusty in Intelligence, you'll always have a place in my office," toasted Adams, which was met with disagreeing laughter from Intelligence. They all raised their glasses and clinked against each other's. Hailey had a light beer, all Rhodes allowed for the time being.

"Battle me, Bennett," growled Voight, but they all saw the twinkle in his eyes.

"Thanks, Sarge…" said Hailey. She never liked attention, especially if it was because she got injured.

"It's your graduation party from Narcs," said Jasmine. "As much as I convinced Sergeant Adams, your Sergeant won't let you go."

"Not only the Sergeant, the partner too," Kim signalled to Jay who sat on other end. "He's been on the edge since she was gone."

"Yes, please. We can't handle him without her," said Antonio.

"This must be your idea, having it in Acanta," Hailey looked at Kim with a judging look.

"Actually, it was mine," Keith chimed in. "We tried it last week, and decided to have it here,"

"We?" asked Hailey. Upon seeing Kim and Keith's sheepish look, she gaped. "Oh my God, you guys!"

"We tried for survey purpose," countered Kim.

"Without telling or asking me," added Jasmine. Keith's face went a deeper shade of red, and he tapped his glass with his fork, raising attention.

"I want to toast Becca, the star of the assignment. Without her, we won't get the date and time of the drug transaction and I would still be under. And, to get the assignment done without breaking our cover… even though things didn't go so well. Thanks for having my back. This had been one of the most enjoyable undercover assignments thanks to my partner, and I will miss kicking your ass in God of War," said Keith.

"You wish! I won!" Hailey laughed, toasting him. "Thank you, I will visit 18th district sometime to challenge Terry playing video games too."

"Oh yeah, please," said Jasmine. Hailey smiled when she looked around the table. Her family, Intelligence, and her extended family, Narcotics. While she was gonna miss Keith and Jasmine, she was eager to go back to Intelligence.

"It had been a pleasure, really," whispered Hailey when she hugged Keith goodbye. "Although, I have a feeling that you might be a regular in our district soon."

"What? Don't assume!" Keith patted her on the shoulder. "And… your partner had been stealing a look at you. I'll see you around."

"Yeah, Kim's a keeper, though," Hailey winked. Keith blushed. Hailey went to Jay, and stood beside him. They looked at Kim and Keith who were talking, and keeping their distance.

"Something going on?" asked Jay when Hailey failed to hide her smile.

"No… looks like Kim found something through my UC assignment."

"Ah, I didn't realise that," said Jay. "Are you tired? I can send you home."

"My bag is in Kim's car," shrugged Hailey. As if on cue, Kim walked to them.

"Hey, you're ready Hails?" asked Kim.

"Actually, I can drive Hailey home if you don't mind," said Jay.

"Alright, she's all yours," said Kim. They went to Kim's car to pick up Hailey's bag, then Hailey and Jay hopped in to Jay's truck. Hailey couldn't help but smile fondly as she was inside the car. It felt like forever since she was in Jay's car, joked about anything, basically just spending time together. She had to admit that the truck felt like home to her. She leaned her head on the window, suddenly feeling fatigue.

"Hey, I was wondering if we could talk," said Jay nervously. Hailey frowned. "You said that we'll talk when you got released. Well?" asked Jay. They had gone back to normal; they talked about everything, they enjoyed each other's company, but neither of them could ignore the elephant in the room. There were so many things unsaid: apologies, confessions, and questions.

"Yeah… I'm drained, though. Can it wait a couple hours? Let me sleep for a bit, then we'll talk," said Hailey.

"It's okay, we don't have to do it today," Jay glanced at her apologetically.

"No, no, it's fine. How about you come at… 4?" asked Hailey. They had arrived at Hailey's place.

"Okay," said Jay. They went to Hailey's door. She opened the door and went inside. Jay carried her bag and dropped it near the door.

"Home sweet home," Hailey smiled as she touched her kitchen table. "I think Kim stocked up my fridge, she asked for my key yesterday," she opened the fridge and gasped at the full fridge. Kim did a great job at getting her some of her favourite items, including ice cream and feta cheese.

"Alright, I'll come back at 4. Just tell me if you're still too tired. Don't push yourself too hard," Jay stood awkwardly at the edge of the kitchen table.

"Yeah, okay," said Hailey. "Hey, Jay," she called after Jay who just turned and headed to the door. She caught up with him and pulled him in a hug. "Thank you so much for everything. For staying at the hospital, and all the little things. I appreciate it," she whispered.

"Anytime, Hailey. Anytime you need me," Jay returned the hug, letting his lips brushed near Hailey's forehead. They kept the hold a bit longer, savouring in the comfort of each other's arms. Hailey swayed dangerously as Jay released her.

"Sorry, I'm sleepy," laughed Hailey. Jay looked at her with concern.

"I'd feel better if I know you safely make it to your bed," said Jay, knowing Hailey would tell him to go home anyway.

"Suit yourself," said Hailey. She was too tired to argue, which made Jay even more concerned. Hailey went to her room and changed her clothes, then opened her door. "I made it safely to my bed. You don't want to tuck me in, do you?" she asked.

"I'm alright. I'll let myself out," said Jay from her doorframe. She smiled as she tucked herself into her blanket. Finally, her own bed. She's home.

* * *

Jay arrived an hour late on purpose. He brought food from Thai restaurant near his place, which Hailey eyed with glee.

"I thought you're still asleep," said Jay.

"Nope, woke up half an hour ago," Hailey closed the door. Jay unboxed the food on the kitchen table, and they started eating. Once they finished and Jay cleaned up the containers, he motioned to Hailey to sit on the couch.

"So…" started Jay. "Where should I begin? It's complicated," Jay started getting nervous.

"It's okay, I'll start. Sorry I… Adam and I… yeah," she looked down. "It should've never happened, but still, I should've told you. I'm sorry."

Last month, hearing Adam's name would've sent Jay's jealousy up the roof. He had heard the thing Hailey just told him multiple times before she went undercover, before she disappeared from his life; before he was close to losing her. Previously, he ignored her, or threw some hurtful words. This time, he was in a better place. Hearing Hailey and Adam's names in a sentence didn't make him jealous anymore. Moreover, if he had learnt anything during the past month, is the fact that life is short, and he didn't want to live with regret. He didn't want Hailey Upton to just be a detective he was once partnered with. He wanted more.

"No, Hailey, I'm sorry," Jay looked at her. He cursed his inability to come up with words. His tongue went rigid, just like in the back of the ambulance after he got shot. Shit, he hadn't apologise for that either.

"Hailey," Jay reached for her hand, tried to gather some strength from her. "I'm really, really sorry. I treated you unfairly; I was rude at you, for no reason. I didn't have a right to be angry, about you and Adam… you didn't have to tell me anything. And even if I was angry, being rude at you for a month was unacceptable. As a cop, it could be harmful. We could be killed for not communicating in certain situations. I knew I messed up, but I didn't try to make it right. I don't know how you can ever forgive me, for treating you like I did. I would've run away if I were you, I don't know how you did it for a month. I'm so, so sorry," Jay gasped as he finished his speech. Tears were already spilling from his eyes, but he didn't try to wipe or hide it. He was still clutching Hailey's hand.

"Jay, breathe," reminded Hailey, rubbing Jay's shoulder with her free hand. When he had calmed down enough, Jay continued.

"I'm sorry if I made things uncomfortable, and I made our situation unbearable for you. I regretted everything even before you left for the UC, but the day Voight told us about the transfer, I… I became numb. I somehow believed that I was gonna make things right between us, and there I was, possibly losing a partner who transferred without as much as a goodbye. Not that you had too, though… with the situation. I had to accept that things would never be right between us since I had no idea where you transferred to. That Jay Halstead is just a one-year partner for you, and that you'll forget about me in a few years," Jay's tears were now streaming down his face, imagining the possibility.

"I couldn't bear the idea of that, really. You were… are important to me, and I didn't want to lose you. I want to always partner with you, so I looked for you in CPD database. I found your transfer to Austin. I called every district in APD, asking to speak to you, but no one knew you," said Jay. Hailey's eyes widened. "I was desperate, Hailey. I needed to find you. I need you to know how sorry I was, you don't have to forgive me, I just want you to know why I was rude to you. Hell, before I realised, I started looking for a possible transfer to APD."

"Why?" asked Hailey.

"Because I want to be with you," whispered Jay. "When I saw Adam in your place, I want to be in his place. I thought if anyone would be together with you, it's me. I didn't think you and Adam would… yeah. I was jealous because I love you," Jay looked deeply to Hailey's eyes through his tears. Hailey gasped.

"You don't have to say anything. I just want to let you know. If there's something I learned from the ordeal, is that life's short, and I don't want it to be left unsaid should anything happen to any of us. When I saw you and Adam, I tried to forget the feeling, and my illogical thought was to not communicate to you to make me forget. Two small flaws in the plan: we see each other every day and it didn't make me move on from my feelings."

"So… then, when Voight told us that you got shot, I lost it. I couldn't think, I was numb. Losing you to a reassignment was one thing, but I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if you died. If you go to Austin, I would go there. If you die? I would, too, inside," said Jay. He was calm while saying it, he didn't feel any dread of seeing her reaction. He felt relieved to finally tell her what had been bubbling in his heart for months. As much as he wanted her to feel the same way, the most important thing was that she's happy, whether or not they're together. The love he felt for her was real, and while he would feel over the moon to have it reciprocated, it was not the most important thing. He realised how much he had matured in a year. Last year Jay Halstead would not say it that way. However, his heart still sank when Hailey didn't say anything. Well, at least he tried.

Hailey had tears in her eyes. She hadn't heard a confession that genuine before. It was one of the most beautiful things she had ever heard, but also the most painful. She felt the angst in Jay's words, and to imagine what went through his mind when she was away, and when she was critical, pained her. She used to think that she was the only one mourning the separation. She spent many nights wide awake, thinking how to make things right with Jay. One night during the undercover assignment, crying silently, she had accepted the fact that things with Jay would never go back to normal, and that she would ask Voight to separate them. Well, she was right. With Jay's confession, things would never go back to normal.

"That's all I want to tell you," Jay released her hand, wiped his tears, and stood up. "See you at the district," he kissed her forehead and headed to the door.

"Wait!" Hailey jumped from the couch, cried when she moved too fast. "Jay, wait!"

"It's okay, Hailey. You don't have to say anything," Jay smiled.

"No, there's something you need to hear," Hailey winced and held her stomach, where the surgery incision was. Jay's face turned into a concerned expression. He strode back to Hailey and was at her side in an instant.

"Why? What happened?" He pushed Hailey back to the couch. "Did you tear the stitches?"

"No, I don't think so. Jay, listen to me, okay?" Hailey grabbed his hand and faced him on the couch.

"Yeah?"

"You can't leave after dropping the bomb like that, okay? That's just rude," scolded Hailey. "Don't you want to know what I got to say?"

"I thought you weren't gonna say anything," said Jay.

"No, of course I am. You told me that you couldn't forget the feeling because you saw me every day. And we didn't see each other for a month. Did it help?" asked Hailey. Jay shook his head.

"If any, it deepened my love for you," whispered Jay. When Hailey looked deeper into his eyes, she saw what she thought she saw for weeks when she was in the hospital: compassion and love. She brushed it off for pity then, but now it made sense.

"When I was shot, before I went unconscious, you flashed before my eyes. I couldn't bear the possibility of not meeting you again, however the circumstance. The love was mutual, Jay. Your friendship is very precious to me, and the reason I survived how you treated me was because I love you," said Hailey. Jay gaped. Before coming to Hailey's place, he thought about the possible outcomes from his confession. Out of 20 outcomes he considered, this one wasn't included. He didn't consider any possibility that Hailey loved him as more than friends, or partners; that the love he had for her was mutual. Especially with what happened between Hailey and Adam.

"Adam?" asked Jay, barely above whisper. He didn't know if he was ready to hear the explanation.

"Adam was a mistake. I didn't get the chance to explain, that I slept with Adam the night after you got shot." Hailey looked ashamed.

Jay was taken aback. It was the farthest thing from his mind. Hailey smiled weakly.

"It doesn't make it right, I know. I was upset, I cried leaving the scene, and Adam took me for a drink. That turned into six drinks, and… you know. We were both vulnerable, I almost lost you, and he just lost Al. ," said Hailey. Jay couldn't believe it. He vividly remembered Adam went after Hailey after she left the ambulance. After Hailey left, he went to Med, got yelled at by Will, they both shed some tears, and went to their dad's place. He didn't even think how upset Hailey felt, or how she released the steam that day. He kicked himself silently for being so self-centric. Had he checked in with Hailey that day, or asked her to accompany him to the hospital, or to have a drink… he wondered what would've happened.

"Really?" asked Jay.

"I know it shouldn't happen to both of us, I mean, look what happened with our previous workplace romances. I vowed to myself not to fall for another partner, and here I am, doing exactly that," Hailey smiled weakly. Jay smiled back. "What should we do?" asked Hailey.

"I don't know. But I know what I want," said Jay. Hailey raised her brows, waiting for him to continue. "I want you, more than anything. Screw Voight, and his no in-house romance policy," said Jay.

"We can move to Austin," smirked Hailey. Jay looked at her adoringly and grabbed her hand. Hailey frowned. "You're not gonna kiss me? You know, thing people do after confessing their love?"

Jay laughed. "Come here," he pulled Hailey closer and kissed her softly, as if she would break anytime. They both felt fireworks inside them as soon as their lips touched. Hailey held Jay's neck and pulled him against her. Soon their kiss deepened, and Jay found himself lightheaded as he snaked his tongue against hers.

"Oh God," Hailey was breathless as they pulled away. "So, no sneaking behind everyone's back?"

"No, I don't think I can do that," said Jay sheepishly. He pulled Hailey to lean on his chest. "I kinda gave away my feeling when you were transferred. I was sour, they treated me like I was a time-ticking bomb, and when Voight announced you being shot, I had a meltdown."

"Wow, sorry I put you through that," Hailey kissed Jay's neck.

"Besides, it'll be a waiting game on when are they gonna catch us snogging in the locker room," Jay buried his face in Hailey's hair, planting a long kiss on her forehead. Hailey swatted Jay's chest. He just responded by embracing her tighter until she squirmed.

"There are stitches down my torso, in case you forget," Hailey moved until she was comfortable. Jay just smiled and loosened his hug on her. He felt warmth spread through his body upon feeling her body pressed to his. Hailey held him tighter. They spent time just enjoying each other's presence, in a different capacity than before. After all the time they spent together, in stakeouts and long car rides, in drinks they had after a tough day at work, they were finally honest with each other. They were partners, friends, and now lovers.

"We would've been doing this since months ago if we were honest," whispered Jay as they were snuggling later. They didn't say a word for an hour, simply enjoying their newfound knowledge of each other's feelings.

"Mmhm," is the only answer he got from Hailey. She was asleep with a smile on her face.

"You know, this is a dream for me," whispered Jay. He lifted Hailey from the couch and carried her to bed. It was only 7, and normal couple would be having a date on a unseasonably warm Saturday night in Chicago, but they were anything but normal. Enveloping her in his arms, he drifted away to sleep.


	9. Chapter 9

When Hailey woke up, Jay was still asleep. She stirred in his arms, snuggling into his chest. While it felt strange to wake up with her partner next to her, it also felt like the most natural thing in the world. They had been sleeping in the same room for two weeks in the hospital, but this is different. While she was used to his soft snore and sigh once in a while, they were never this intimate before. Strangely, she didn't feel awkward at all.

"What?" asked Jay sleepily.

"What are you doing on my bed?" asked Hailey cheekily. Jay laughed, squeezed her tighter.

"You slept well?" asked Jay.

"You snored," mocked Hailey, freed herself from Jay and sat up, pulling her hair into a bun.

"I did not," Jay pulled her back, pouting as he locked eyes with her. She hit him with a pillow; the pillow from the undercover assignment that Kim put on her bed.

"I promised to visit my parents today," said Hailey. "You better be ready in 30 minutes."

"Already bringing me to meet the parents? I'm not sure I'm ready for this relationship to progress this fast," teased Jay.

"Shut up, Halstead," Hailey punched his chest jokingly. "You better behave."

"I've met them, when you were in coma," shrugged Jay.

"Really?"

"Yeah, your brother and sister-in-law as well," said Jay.

Hailey freed herself from his embrace, and got out of bed. "As much as I just want to lie in bed all day, we have to go."

* * *

After they got back from Hailey's parents' place, they went back to her place, picking up food en route.

"I haven't apologised for something," said Jay when they sat on the couch after done with their dinner.

"What?" Hailey frowned.

"I made you my personal punching bag when my dad died," said Jay. Hailey waved her hand.

"I've forgiven you for that long time ago," said Hailey. "I didn't have a chance to ask, though. How are you? Did you cope well?"

"It's getting better. I struggled, after everything, but Will helped. We weren't in a good place when my dad died, but after I got shot, and he yelled at me, we made up. We met as often as we could, well… we're each other's only family member left. He caught me looking for you in APD server, and excitedly named the mission: Finding Hailey," Jay smiled.

"I like that. You found me," Hailey pulled Jay into a hug. "And I'm not going anywhere."

"I know," Jay lay on the couch, his head on Hailey's lap. Hailey played with his hair, caressing them until Jay fell asleep. She smiled. If anyone told her last month that Jay and she would be alright, even together, she wouldn't believe them.

* * *

Jay only left Hailey's place on Monday morning to go to work. Hailey didn't go with him; she was still resting at home for another week before allowed to go back to work.

No one at work wondered about Jay's good mood; after all, his mood drastically improved when he got back to work last week. There was no secret about how important Hailey was to him, and they were relieved that he was back to normal. He went back from work immediately to Hailey's place, and they spent the evening together, snuggling and talking about everything. Jay finally told Hailey about Adam punching him, and Hailey promised not to say anything to Adam. Hailey told Jay all little things about the assignment; secrecy be damned. They exchanged stories about their childhood, their time in the Army or University, and just getting to know each other better. Then they would be asleep, either on her bed or her couch. They spent the morning together, ate breakfast before he left for work. Hailey would cook or bake something so when he came, they had something to eat. It felt like the most natural thing in the world for them.

At the end of the week, Hailey went to Med to get checked up. Dr Rhodes checked her and declared her fit to return to desk duty. She gleefully accepted, since she was very bored at home; the only thing she did the whole day was waiting for Jay to come _home_. Home. She never thought she would say that.

"Hey, Hailey," Will poked his head to her room.

"Hey," Hailey smiled at him, unsure what to say. She had no idea whether Will knew about her and Jay.

"How are you? You're doing good?" asked Will.

"Desk duty," Hailey had twinkle in her eyes. She couldn't wait to get back to Intelligence.

"Last I remembered Jay sulked when he was on desk duty," frowned Will.

"Oh, I see the world half full," said Hailey. Will's pager buzzed.

"I'll see you around," Will excused himself. Hailey went home and started dinner. After taking the chicken out the oven, she turned on the TV while waiting for Jay who should be off work in 30 minutes. She read the headline news: explosion in Uptown. When she scrolled through channels trying to find news on the explosion, she saw Voight in the background. She knew immediately that the case would roll until late that night. She cursed silently because she had chosen movies to watch together with Jay. Cursing again when she realised she was being selfish, she packed up the dinner and drove to the district, picking up coffee for Jay on the way.

"Hailey!" Antonio was the first to notice her. "What are you doing?"

"Got cleared for desk duty this afternoon, saw Voight on TV. Figured out that you guys might need extra hand," shrugged Hailey and sat on her desk. She smiled while touching her keyboard. "Anything I can do?"

Antonio brought her to speed about the case, and soon enough, Hailey found herself eliminating phone records and sifting through bank statements.

"You're on medical leave," growled Voight. Hailey waved Rhodes' note.

"Dr. Rhodes signed this earlier today, I'm back on desk duty," said Hailey.

"Alright. Good to have you back," Voight patted her back. Hailey gave him summary of her investigation.

"Work through traffic cam data in that area, see if anything pops up," said Voight. Hailey went downstairs to start working. She had lost track of time when Jay sneaked in, hugging her from behind.

"Jay, we're at work," reminded Hailey.

"I'm saying hi to my partner. Nice of you to finally join us, after more than a month went AWOL," said Jay, however, sneaking a peck to her hair. She felt herself blush.

"Who told you I'm here?" asked Hailey.

"You brought me coffee, figured you won't be out in the field," said Jay. He sat beside Hailey. "Anything?"

"I was finishing up anyway, why don't you go to Voight with me?" Hailey plucked out a thumb drive from the computer. Jay ran his hand on her back, making her shiver. She shrugged him off, patted his arm, and went upstairs.

When they got back upstairs, everyone was there, regrouping. They looked at them when she buzzed in to Intelligence. Jay couldn't contain his huge grin, giving away his excitement for having her back again.

"Easy, she's still on desk duty. You're still with Adam," teased Antonio.

"Yeah, at least a week," said Hailey. She received a hug from Kim, and then stood beside her while they talked about the case. Hailey, too, shared her findings. Minutes later, everyone but her was out the door. As Jay grabbed his jacket from the chair, Hailey caught his eyes. She mouthed 'be careful' to him, which was met with a nod.

* * *

After raiding a house for explosives, they went back to the district with two suspects. Antonio and Voight brought him to interrogation rooms; and the others took a rest in the bullpen. Hailey was munching her forgotten dinner when Jay pulled a chair and sat beside her.

"You okay?" asked Hailey, silently offering her dinner.

"Yeah, I'm good. You're not bored yet?" Jay grabbed her fork and started eating.

"It's okay, better than staying at home," smiled Hailey. Jay hungrily wolfed down the meal, looking at her asking for permission. "It's okay, finish it," said Hailey. Jay sat close to her and rubbing her feet with his toe. Hailey kicked him lightly.

"Haven't got time to eat since the explosion," explained Jay. He finished the meal. The hallway door from interrogation room opened.

"They cracked. Go home, case is solved," said Voight. Everyone sighed. "We're not on call tomorrow. Oh, and, Halstead?"

"Yes?"

"I'm expecting an HR form on my desk, or I'll ship you both to Austin," said Voight. Hailey and Jay's face went a deeper shade of red.

"Oh my God, you guys!"

"Really?"

"Whoa, whoa, easy there," Hailey's eyes widened seeing the response from her teammates.

"I knew it! Pay up, Kev," said Adam. Kevin passed him a 20 dollar bill.

"Nice to know you were betting on me when I was on medical leave," Hailey rolled her eyes at them.

"No, we did way before that. Before you went under," shrugged Adam.

"Glad you're not involved in this, Kim," Hailey looked to Kim for support. Kim, however, avoided Hailey's eyes. "No, you didn't…"

"Antonio will do my paperwork for a week," Kim admitted sheepishly to a roar of laughter. While Hailey usually took care of her and Jay's paperwork (because she likes doing it—cue eye roll from the entire team), Kim and Antonio bantered non-stop about paperwork. It had become their favourite betting topic, since both were averse of it.

"And what do we get?" asked Jay.

"You get the girl!" Kevin chimed in, to their laughter. Jay embraced Hailey, ignoring their colleagues' teasing.

* * *

"I thought Voight was against dating in his department?" asked Hailey as she and Jay went for a walk the following morning. She wasn't there when Jay and Erin dated, but once Kim let it slip to her that they sneaked out behind Voight's back.

"I thought so, too. He let it slip once before, but I thought it was more because of who broke the rule," said Jay. "I just remember, though, in the hospital when you were still in coma, Voight said to keep anything I have out of the job."

"Oh, I will. You, on the other hand, if you keep on teasing me, I'll tell Voight to ship you to Austin," Hailey's eyes twinkled.

"Teasing you what?"

"You stole kiss and touch, you play footsie like we were high school sweethearts going on a date with classmates," Hailey punched Jay in the arm.

"Hey, I missed you. I went 8 hours without seeing you, I cannot help it," defended Jay. He pulled her into a side hug and kissed her hair.

"You're so corny. I didn't expect that," Hailey laughed.

"You secretly like it, you just don't know it yet," said Jay. "And what would you do if I was shipped to Austin?"

"I'll go where you go," Hailey returned the hug, resting her head on Jay's neck, savouring the moment. She felt lightheaded just by being close to him; she couldn't believe there was a man who was capable of making her feel that way. Scary, as she never let her heart dictate her, but it felt good.

"Hey, is it okay if we have dinner with Will and Natalie tonight? I haven't told Will about us," said Jay as they walked hand in hand.

"Sure. As long as you don't play footsie under the table," said Hailey.

"Haven't told Will about what?" they heard a voice behind them. They spun around and saw Will stood behind them. They had unknowingly walked absentmindedly to a park near Will and Natalie's place. Jay instinctively placed his hand on Hailey's back as she jumped up in surprise. Will's confused face turned into a huge grin upon seeing Jay squeezed Hailey's shoulder. "Don't tell me…"

"Yeah," Jay pulled Hailey into his side. "Guilty, we were about to tell you later."

"Finally," Will stepped forward and gave Jay a hug. Jay nearly teared up. Will had been very supportive of him, never tired of dealing with his bullshit after Hailey left up until the moment she left the hospital. "Congratulations. You hurt her, I'll kill you. You hurt him, I'll talk your ears out," joked Will after he hugged Hailey.

"Hey! It's unfair!" protested Jay.

"You made me half deaf when you whined about her nonstop for a month," quipped Will. "Glad I can share that burden with you now, Hailey."

"My pleasure," smirked Hailey.

"Had you been following us?" asked Jay. Hailey understood, as police officers, they were trained in sensing a tail. Usually they, especially her, were good at this, but if they lost the sense due to enjoying the moment, they had a job to do to separate their emotion from clouding their cop intuition.

"No, I saw you from afar, wanted to surprise you, and couldn't help but listen to your last sentence," said Will. "I'll see you tonight, I guess?"

"Yeah, of course," said Jay.

* * *

That night, they gathered in Will and Natalie's apartment, having the first of many double date dinners, when Jay rose his glass.

"I want to give a toast to the end of the Finding Hailey Mission. It was set up last month in Molly's by Will and I; Will named it, of course, and I did all the work; and it was a success. I found her, and she's not going anywhere on my watch," said Jay.

"We found each other," corrected Hailey as they clinked their glasses. Jay grabbed Hailey's hand and squeezed it. He intended to never let go. She was his anchor and everything, and if there's something he learned from this ordeal, is how he shouldn't take anything for granted. He nearly lost her as a partner, she nearly died from a bullet, and he would be damned to lose her again. He made a silent promise to keep her close as long as he would be permitted.

"Jay, what did I say about playing footsie?" whispered Hailey. They all laughed.

* * *

_That's it! It's done! Finally did a romance story for Upstead, phew! Hope it turns out okay! _


	10. Chapter 10

"They pulled her out today," said Voight, snapping Jay out of his reverie. "You can pick her up in train station at 5 today."

Three weeks ago, Madison PD approached Voight with a request for an officer to be undercover. Specifically, they asked for a female detective. Hailey was the only fit in Intelligence, and she got whisked away immediately after she pulled Jay to the break room and explained the situation. Jay wanted to argue, but he knew that Hailey would hear none of it. Sure, they were dating, but they were also partners. He respected Hailey's decision, and knew better than to argue and fight with her in the precious time they had left for the upcoming weeks. Therefore, he pulled her close, whispered his prayer for her safety, and kissed her goodbye. It had been a week since he heard from Hailey. Well, from Voight, who relayed a message from Hailey's interim boss, who got the message from Hailey's handler. It was a short one: "do not worry". It wasn't until Jay walked into Hailey's empty house later that day that his emotion bubbled up. He hadn't been sleeping well, been on edge lately, even snapped at Will during their routine check-in. Hailey was the one undercover, yet she was the one thinking about him worrying her. He cried on her couch and spent the night—his first night sleeping well—on her bed. It scared him that she was able to affect him emotionally.

"Halstead, are you gonna pick her up or not?" asked Voight.

"Ah, yeah, Sarge, of course," stammered Jay. Voight smirked and walked to his office. He never commented about his detectives' relationship since giving them his blessing. They impressed him, though, with their ability to remain professional on the job. Often he forgot that they were dating until they left together after work. Of course, they continued to argue about the job, but they never brought their personal life to work. It was different than Jay and Erin's relationship; they flirted in the bullpen and were awkward when they fought. Jay and Hailey shared some looks—their unspoken conversation—and touched each other more often, but never in an intimate way. The only time they did PDA was when Hailey left for undercover assignment. Voight watched as they hugged, kissed, and Jay watched Hailey from the top of the stairs until she disappeared, and felt pride that his reckless detective had grown up.

"Sarge, do you mind if I leave earlier today? I wanted to pick up things, ah, for Hailey's place. Last time I emptied the fridge," said Jay as he walked into Voight's office, his face was blushing.

"Go ahead. She had mandatory evaluation tomorrow, and if everything goes well, she has a week mandatory leave," said Voight.

"I'll tell her that," Jay turned to leave.

"Bring flowers," Voight's voice made Jay turned back on his heels. Since when his boss teased him about his relationship? He laughed dryly.

"Flowers? She prefers pizza," quipped Jay.

"Bring both then," Voight shrugged.

* * *

Jay went to the grocery store to pick up things to fill Hailey's fridge with. He picked up some beer, wine, milk, bread, cheese, a rotisserie chicken, bacon, eggs, and some veggies for salad. One of their favourite activities together was cooking, and he was surprised that he managed to do some harder dishes. He was never the cook—his mum and Will did the cooking back then—but cooking together with Hailey made him looking forward to spend time in the kitchen.

When he checked out, he spotted buckets filled with flowers near the cashier. Remembering what Voight insisted, he picked out a bunch of flowers. After arranging Hailey's fridge, he cleaned up the place and changed the sheet on Hailey's bed. Never did he expect he would turn domestic for a girl. Proud of his work, he left Hailey's place, stopping to pick up pizza. He drove to the train station smiling.

* * *

Hailey huffed as the train stopped and she hauled her backpack onto her shoulder. She just realised how tired she was as the train approached Chicago. Earlier that morning, she was checking the register at the bar when five polices busted the bar. She knew that the arrest would be on that week, but she didn't know on which day. Within three hours, she was 'arrested', brought to the police station, and dropped to the train station to catch the next train to Chicago. She smiled as the beautiful skyline of the city appeared, with one of the most beautiful sunsets she had ever seen. She was home.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" a train attendant asked as she approached the door.

"It is," smiled Hailey.

"Visiting relatives or a tourist?" asked him.

"This is home, actually," said Hailey.

"Welcome home then," he smiled. Hailey nodded thanks, then hopped off the train. She wasn't sure how she would get home. She thought about calling Jay the moment she received her phone back from her handler, but she decided to surprise him. Jay should still be at the district, so she turned on her phone to haul an Uber. As she walked along the train platform, with freezing breeze hitting her face, she read a message from Jay. It was dated two weeks ago, a simple message saying _'I know you can't read this now, I just miss you.'_ Smiling, she blamed the wind for her misty eyes. It was a cold day in February, so she felt relieved that her Uber arrived fast.

"21st district?" confirmed the driver.

"Yes, please," said Hailey.

In half an hour she walked into the district, smiling bright. She leaned onto the counter and tapped the table to gain Platt's attention.

"Upton!" Platt looked surprised to see her. She went around the counter to give Hailey a hug.

"Sarge," said Hailey, half surprised by the emotional display from the uptight Sergeant.

"You're back in one piece… bet Halstead was glad to see you! That boy… he was insufferable!" Platt tapped her cheek.

"Talking of, is he upstairs? I was planning on surprising him!" said Hailey.

"He left hours ago, I thought he picked you up," frowned Platt.

"Hailey?" Voight appeared on the bottom of the stairs. "What are you doing here?"

"Hi Sarge," said Hailey. "Is Jay upstairs?" she was giddy at the prospect of meeting Jay for the first time in weeks.

"He left to pick you up at the train station," said Voight. He whipped out his phone to call Jay as Hailey gasped.

"You didn't call him?" asked Platt.

"No, I was gonna surprise him. I didn't know he knew I'm going back," said Hailey.

"He was gonna surprise you at the train station," smirked Voight. "Traffic would be hell for him heading here, he said he would meet you at home. Yours," added Voight.

"Gosh, so he waited at the train station?" asked Hailey.

"Yeah, he was there," said Voight. "Go," he shrugged towards the garage. Platt handed Hailey her car keys.

"Thanks, Sarge," said Hailey, then left through the back entrance. She found her car in the same spot she left it. Someone must warmed up her car every day. She picked up her speed as she drove towards her place. She realised she didn't have her house key with her; it was in her drawer at the district. As she approached her front door, she sighed, frustrated. This was not how she imagined her meeting with Jay would happen. She sat on her doorstep, hugging her backpack. When she failed to call Jay's phone, she cried with frustration.

As Jay rounded Hailey's driveway with flowers and pizza on his hands, he saw Hailey on the doorstep. He rushed to her, his heart racing, partially from finally meeting her, partially worrying about her as sat outside in freezing temperature. "Hailey," he dropped to his knees, setting the pizza box and flowers on the ground, and knelt in front of her. Hailey looked up, and burst out crying. Jay immediately pulled her into his arms. "Hey, don't cry, love. I'm here. I'm sorry," Jay pulled away a little to brush his lips against Hailey's forehead. She was freezing, her skin was ice cold. Jay frowned.

"Why are you sitting outside?" asked Jay as he pulled out his spare key. Hailey was still sobbing, so he pulled her up, catching her as her knees buckled for being still in the cold. "Alright, let's get you inside," Jay pulled her up, half carried her inside and sat her down on the couch. He went back outside to grab the pizza and flowers, then tossed them on the table. He sat beside her and pulled her into his arms, running his hands up and down her body trying to warm her up, and wrapped her in a blanket. As Hailey grabbed his arm, he grew more concerned about her shivering hands. He pulled her hands, rubbing them against his hands and blowing warm breathes into her palms. Hailey still had tears running down her eyes, so after making sure she was warm enough, Jay wiped her tears with his thumb.

"You're feeling better?" asked Jay. Hailey nodded. When Jay stood to grab some water for Hailey, she pulled his hand.

"Stay," said Hailey. Jay sat beside her, pulling her to lie on his chest, and kissed her on the forehead, his own tears ran down his face for finally holding her safe. For three weeks his only prayer was for her to safely return to him. He buried his face in her hair and pulled her legs to cross his. He felt warmth he hadn't felt since she was gone. Hailey looked up at him and kissed him softly on the lips, lighting the fireworks inside his heart.

"Sorry, I didn't know you went to the train station," whispered Hailey.

"My fault, I didn't tell you either, I wanted to surprise you," chuckled Jay.

"Yeah, me too. We should stay clear of surprises… clearly it never worked in our favour," Hailey patted Jay's chest.

"Picture it, me, on the train platform, with flowers… you missed that," Jay shrugged at the flowers he tossed unceremoniously on the table. Hailey laughed.

"Sorry, shall we redo it?" asked Hailey, her eyes lit up mischievously. She wiggled away from Jay's arms, and walked outside. She opened the door from outside. "Hey… ouch!"

This time, Jay wasted no time in running to the door and lifted Hailey, swinging her in the air. As he put Hailey down, he planted a kiss on her lips, which she reciprocated and soon were deeper until they were out of breathe.

"This is for you," Jay handed her the flowers. Hailey smiled, smelled the flowers as Jay led her to the couch. She took off her coat and shoes.

"This is the first time you bought me flowers," Hailey pointed out. "Thank you, so sweet of you," she hugged Jay, leaning her head on his chest once again.

"I can't believe you're here," Jay admitted, burying his face in Hailey's hair. She smelled like ocean, something he noted down as her smell. "How are you?"

"I'm cold, but better now. I'm just happy to be home," Hailey snuggled deeper into him. Jay pulled the blanket over her, feeling relaxed for the first time in weeks.

"Welcome home," he whispered. He felt Hailey went limp in his arms, and he fell asleep smiling. His beloved was home, back in his arms.

* * *

"Jay," called Hailey softly. She wiggled, tried to free herself from Jay's tangled hands. "Jay, wake up."

"What…" Jay stirred awake. "What time is this?"

"Eight. As much as I like just laying here with you, I'm hungry," said Hailey. Jay gasped. He jumped awake, grabbing the now cold pizza box and went to the kitchen to warm it up. He totally forgot that he bought a whole pan of deep dish pizza, Hailey's favourite. Hailey showered and changed into comfortable pair of pyjama, then joined Jay in the kitchen and hugged him from behind.

"You missed me?" teased Jay.

"No," Hailey answered flatly, but Jay could imagine her rolling her eyes at the stupid question.

"Well, I missed you. A lot," Jay smiled as he lifted Hailey up to sit on the kitchen counter. He buried his head on her lap. "I miss you more than you miss me," said Jay.

"I guess… with the UC, I was so busy during the day," huffed Hailey as she caressed Jay's hair. She sniffed his hair. "I miss your smell," she admitted. Jay laughed dryly when he remembered that sleeping on Hailey's bed and smelling her shampoo made him sleep well.

"I texted you," Jay pointed out.

"I just read that. Thank you. I know how worried you would be… hence I sent you messages," said Hailey. Jay looked at her.

"I received those, so thoughtful of you. That's one of the things I love about you," Jay kissed her hand.

"Oh yeah? What else?"

"You make good coffee," teased Jay. "Oh, and you don't snore. And also… your eyeroll. Yep, that one," Jay burst out laughing when Hailey rolled her eyes. Hailey joined him laughing and hopped off the counter to open the fridge. She was thirsty as hell, and figured a beer wouldn't hurt.

"You filled my fridge?" asked Hailey, perplexed by all the goods she had in her fridge.

"No, Voight did. Of course it's me. I bought bacon and egg, since you'll cook me breakfast tomorrow morning," said Jay.

"Oh, so you're staying tonight," stated Hailey, more like a question.

"You're gonna get rid of me?" challenged Jay, pushing her towards the counter. They were minutes away from making out on the kitchen counter, if not for the hunger and fatigue she was feeling.

"You're not going anywhere," said Hailey, holding Jay on the back of his neck with both her hands. "I'm gonna channel my spirit animal tonight," she teased seductively.

"Yeah, you're so a koala on the bed," Jay rolled his eyes, prompting her to laugh hysterically. The timer went off and they took the pizza out of the oven. Hailey's eyes lit up looking at the pizza.

"Gosh, it tastes like home," she closed her eyes, savouring the melting goodness in her hand as she dug in. Chicago, pizza, Jay; three things that felt like home to her, not in that particular order.

* * *

They spent the night just laid in bed, talked about things they missed. Hailey told Jay part about the UC that was unclassified, and Jay brought her up to speed about cases and personal things in Intelligence. Hailey laughed when she listened about Kevin's date which went south, Voight's war with the mayor candidate, and Kim's secrecy about the guy she was seeing. They fell asleep in each other's arms, with a smile on both their faces.

When Hailey woke up at 8, she smelled coffee. She rubbed her eyes and saw Jay on the door, watching her while sipping coffee.

"What?" asked Hailey, raising a hand to ask for the coffee.

"No, you're really a koala," Jay chuckled. Hailey threw a pillow at him. "I'll bring yours," said Jay, then went disappeared. In a minute he walked back with a cup of coffee. He brought it to Hailey and kissed her on the hair. "Actually, your breakfast is ready. Voight said you have mandatory eval, and then one week mandatory leave."

"Yeah, I know. I hate eval," grunted Hailey.

"I know. Because I want you to pass, I made you breakfast," Jay pulled her up and guided her to the kitchen. Hailey grinned when she saw a breakfast tortilla on the plate. She praised one made by Will once, apparently Jay learned to make it afterwards.

"I could get used to this," commented Hailey as she tucked in. Jay disappeared into the bathroom, and soon they were ready to go to the district.

"Was the UC case closed?" asked Jay.

"Yeah, they did the bust yesterday. I was arrested," said Hailey.

* * *

Hailey was barely into the bullpen when a whirlwind bundle of joy leaped at her and squished her.

"Kim!" Hailey returned the hug.

"Glad you're back. You know, testosterone overdose," said Kim.

"I thought you were glad to be partnered with me!" Jay pretended to be hurt.

"I wish, if you were this chipper," said Kim.

"Oh yeah, he was insufferable without you. Breathe near him, he'd shoot you," Adam chimed in. "Glad you're back, Hailey," he gave Hailey a fist bump.

"Glad to be at my service taming him," Hailey stole a smile at Jay, who looked sheepish.

"Upton, your eval is in 5 minutes, come with me," Platt interrupted. Hailey pat Jay in the arm.

"Good luck," Jay pulled her close and planted a quick peck to her temple, eliciting a blush in both their faces. It was a really rare PDA moment, they don't usually share any kind of intimacy in the district, moreover in front of their teammates and other officers. They heard rumour about them breaking up a few times already over the few months they were together (of course, the whole district knows) because they lack intimacy in public. However, this was the first day she was back, so that calls for special treatment.

"You fell hard for her," commented Antonio who witnessed the display from afar and just joined them. He witnessed Jay and Gabby's brief romance, and Jay and Erin's flirtation turned romantic turned disaster for him, and now Jay and Hailey's.

"Maybe I do," shrugged Jay.

"Jay, you have six annual leaves due this month," called Voight from his office. Jay frowned. He thought he used them up when he visited his ex-Army buddy in New York, but apparently he earned a few days from a brief UC work. He walked to Voight's office, trying his luck.

"Sarge, you okay if you're down two people this week?"

* * *

_I thought I'm gonna try my luck continuing the story. It was supposed to be a one-shot, but it got too long that I got to split it in half. Hope you enjoy!_


End file.
